Arrested!
by Bellerophone
Summary: How would two random characters from Detective Conan act if they were stuck in the same jail cell together? Series of one-shots. Newest: Kazuha and Shinichi!
1. Kaito and Heiji in Jail

Hattori Heiji and Kuroba Kaito in Jail

"Now you boys just think about what you've done."

With that, the police officer slammed the barred door to the cell. The taller of the cell's two occupants let out an odd sort of squeak that seemed out of place coming from a strong, broad-shouldered seventeen-year-old just under two meters tall.

"My father is goin' ta kill me," this boy said hoarsely in a thick Kansai accent.

His companion, a wiry, paler teenager with a shock of unruly black hair, sat down calmly on the bench in the small grey cell, crossed his arms, and snickered mischievously. "Hattori-keiji's son in the clinker, what a scandal…" His bright blue eyes flashed as he made _tsk_-ing noises with his tongue.

The first boy was not listening; his normally dark skin had gone very grey and he was wistfully clutching the bars of the door with a nauseated expression on his face. "He's goin' ta kill me."

"Aren't you supposed to be upholding the law, not breaking it?" the second boy grinned.

"I can't believe I let ya talk me inta this."

"Detectives shouldn't get arrested, Heiji-kun, it's not good for their reputation."

"My father's goin' ta _kill_ me."

"Sons of police chiefs shouldn't get arrested either. It's not proper."

"That'll be my last murder case ever. My own."

The blue-eyed boy laughed again. "I wouldn't miss that. Hattori Heiji's last performance!" he swept his arms expressively over his head—and then abruptly the grin faded from his face and he glanced appraisingly at the first boy. "You peaked early, didn't you?"

At this the first boy whipped around and lunged at the other. He seized the front of Kaito's sweater and lifting his lighter frame bodily from the bench. "You stupid Kaitou, how the HELL did you EVER talk me into giving you a _ride_!"

"Oi, oi!" Kaito waved his hands placatingly, a nervous grin on his face. "Don't blame me for your disregard of traffic laws—" he broke off suddenly, eyes widening as if he had just heard a brilliant joke. Slowly, a broad grin unfurled itself across his face. "Traffic laws…"

"What the hell's so funny—" Heiji growled. "What the _hell_ is—"

Without warning, Kaito burst into peals of laughter. "We broke _traffic laws!_" Heiji dropped him in shock, and the smaller boy fell limply to the floor, clutching his ribs.

"Ya crazy ahou—what're you laughing about? This is serious!"

"I got arrested…" Kaito gasped, laughing madly, "for speeding…_I_ got arrested…for _speeding!_"

"Ya just realized that?" Heiji growled ominously, stepping aside to keep out of the way as Kaito writhed madly with joy.

Kaito gasped something about "incompetent police" and "most wanted thief in Japan," then the rest of his words were drowned out by another loud cackle.

Slowly, the thunderclouds drew back from Heiji's face. "Oh. I guess that's kinda funny. In a really twisted, illegal way."

"Kind of!" choked Kaito, managing to right himself, an affronted look on his beaming face. "I've stolen a blue diamond from the _Queen of England_! And they've arrested me for speeding!"

A reluctant grin spread across Heiji's face; Kaito's laughter was infectious. Wryly, Heiji said, "Irony's a bitch, ain't it?"

Kaito's response was another howl of side-splitting laughter. "They didn't even search us! They didn't even search me! Can you…can you believe—"

"Why should they have searched you, Kuroba?" Heiji frowned suddenly down at the squirming boy before him. "Whaddya have on you?"

"N-nothing," Kaito laughed, then rolled limberly to his feet as Heiji attempted to tackle him.

"What is it?" Heiji shouted, lunging again, but Kaito was too quick; he ducked under Heiji's arm and scampered across the tiny cell.

Heiji turned around—Kaito's hand was held out, as if waiting for a 'high-five," but a dark green cut gem sat on a handkerchief in his palm instead. Heiji gaped, staring from the jewel to Kaito's face.

Kaito grinned. "It matches your eyes, Hattori-kun."

A cracked egg would have cooked on Heiji's face.

"KID!"

…

Down the hall, two on-duty guard cops exchanged glances over the rims of their coffee mugs.

"Why d'you think he's calling him 'Kid?'" the first officer said slowly.

The second officer shrugged, too occupied with his newspaper to care.

The first officer took this as a hint to shut up, and did so, staring unseeingly instead at the front page of the other's newspaper. If he head read the banner, however, the officer might have been interested to see: KAITOU KID PULLS ALL-NIGHT JEWEL HEIST. OFFICERS STILL IN PURSUIT.

…

Back in the cell, Heiji had quickly given up on chasing Kaito, having realized that even if he retook the gem, there was nothing he could do with it. So instead, the detective had been reduced to sitting cross-legged in the center of the cell, head in hand, watching as Kaito, lying flat on his back on the bench, play catch with the emerald.

"Ya know what the worst of it is?" Heiji said flatly, watching the gem sparkle in the light filtering in through the bars as it fell back into Kaito's hand.

"What's that, Heiji-kun?" Kaito asked gleefully.

"You're probably safer in jail right now than on the streets."

Kaito's face was all teeth. "Last place they'd look." He tossed the gem up again.

Heiji sighed. "Irony _is_ a bitch."

Kaito just laughed.

…

**_Don't ask me how Heiji knows his identity. It was a request for a friend :)_


	2. Heiji and Saguru in Jail

"OI! Leggo o'me—"

"Sir, you're making a grave error—"

"—D'you know who I am?"

"—I am a criminal analyst—"

"—A detective—"

"—My father is probably your boss—"

"—My dad's Chief inspector Hattori—"

"—Yes, District General Hakuba—"

"Yeah, okay, blondie," said the police officer stiff-arming an outraged-looking teenage boy down the cell ward. "We get stories a lot more creative than that every day—"

"—All right, now see here—_hey_—Shut up, you Osakan…OW!" roared a second officer, who was physically dragging another teenager, this one dark-skinned and with black hair, down the cell ward from the opposite doorway.

"But you don't—" howled the struggling Osakan boy as his officer managed to box his ears and pull out his key ring at the same time.

"—a misunderstanding—" the blonde boy was insisting, an expression of shock and dread dawning on his face as the cell door swung open.

"—I'm a detective!"

The two officers shoved their teenage charges into the cell with rather more than the necessary gusto. The blonde stumbled on the hem of his long overcoat, looking as though he couldn't believe the officers had really followed through on their threats, but managed to right himself. The dark boy, however, tripped over his own large feet and crashed face-first to the cement cell floor.

"_AHOU!_" he cried, incensed, bounding to his feet and lunging at the officers. "Let me out—"

The officers, wearing expressions which suggested unprofessional enjoyment, slammed the barred door right in his face.

"OOOWWWWW!"

The dark boy fell on his rear and skidded a few centimeters. Livid now, he seized the bars of the door and began cursing a blue streak at the retreating officers, one of whom was whistling, the other twirling the key ring around his finger.

After a few moments of colorful suggestions and one or two guesses as to the officers' maternal lineage, the dark boy either cooled off or ran out of breath. That was when he noticed the pair of tan loafers standing in the corner of the small cell.

The boy's dark green eyes traveled from the loafers to brown slacks, to an old-fashioned beige overcoat, to a white chemise buttoned right up to the chin, finally landing on a pale, long, western-looking face wearing a sneer of aloof derisiveness. This boy's eyes were honey-brown and long-lashed, but almond-shaped and Eastern, narrowed in amusement, and atop a once-neatly combed mop of blonde hair he wore a British eighteenth-century deerstalker hat tugged low.

The dark boy raised an eyebrow, sulkiness giving way to curiosity as he unconsciously massaged a bruise on his arm. "Sherlock Holmes fan?" he asked sardonically.

The blonde sniffed, raising an eyebrow as well. "Quite. Ellery Queen yourself?"

"How'd ya know?"

"You're wearing a tee-shirt that says 'West Eighty-Seventh Street' in English."

"Oh." The dark boy grinned companionably, prior rage apparently forgotten. [_West Eehdy-Sevunt Street_] he said proudly in Japanese-accented English.

"Not bad," said the blonde boy, a smirk playing across his thin lips. [But you mispronounced 'eighty'], he added in English.

The dark boy's scowl returned, then he grinned again abruptly. "I pronounce English with an American accent. You're British, _ne?_"

"Correct. And you are indubitably Osakan."

"Yup!" the dark boy said proudly. "My accent gave me away, just like yours gave you away!"

The blonde boy's eyebrows rose farther. "Actually, I knew you were Osakan before I heard you speak. It was obvious."

"Well," said the dark boy, taken aback. He managed to salvage his smile, though it appeared somewhat strained as he got to his feet and offered his hand. "My name is—"

"Hattori Heiji, high school detective of the west," said the blonde boy, smirking. "That was obvious too. Your claim that Inspector Hattori Hanzo is your father only confirmed my suspicions." He narrowed his eyes analytically. "Your reputation—or perhaps just your temper's reputation—precedes you, Hattori-_kun_." Only then did the blonde accept the proffered hand. "Hakuba Saguru."

"Nice ta meet ya," Heiji said dryly, squeezing Saguru's hand rather firmly. "The Kaitou Kid specialist from Britain…of course…" his grin was flinty now, his jaw set like steel. "Just come off a Kid heist, huh?"

Saguru couldn't stop a flicker of surprise from crossing his exotic eyes. "Yes, actually."

"Hm," Heiji chuckled, twisting his white baseball cap from front to back with obvious relish. "I noticed the ragged yet straight laceration in your overcoat, surely from a playin' card shot at high speeds from a gun. Your cheeks also have small bruises from where Nakamori-_keibu_ pinched when checking for a mask, you're sweatin' but you seem like the stuffy type who'd not walk around disheveled if ya could help it, and there's a rather violently crumpled paper in your pocket, which I'd guess is a heist note."

Saguru doffed his deerstalker cap. "You joined the heist late, didn't you? Or, more like you tried to. Your jacket smells like gasoline, probably a motorbike, since you're under eighteen, aren't you, and the brim of your hat has a pink discoloration from where a capsule of the Kid's knockout gas hit you." He smiled predatorily. "I wager you crashed, judging by the burn marks on your sneakers and the singes in your hair. May I venture that your arrest was due to speeding and possibly property damage?"

Heiji's answering smile was eerily reminiscent of that of a shark. "Pretty close. But at least I didn't run onto—a private helicopter landing pad, I'm guessing? Your hair is abnormally windswept for a summer day and there are white cherry blossoms sticking to the bottoms of your loafers, which only come from the business district. The only landing pads there are private ones. Were you so focused on catching the Kaitou Kid that you forgot where you were?"

Saguru's expression turned dour. "The Kaitou Kid took off in a helicopter from that pad, for your information. A confused security guard arrested me." He changed tack in the blink of an eye. "Did your girlfriend ditch you as soon as the cops caught you? She left a long hair on your jacket."

"Kazuha is NOT my—she was riding on the back of my bike! She went to call the police—Anyway, did ya enjoy our Osakan specialty of takoyaki you ate for lunch? The handkerchief in your pocket has our special sauce on it."

"It was appalling. Octopus is not an appropriate meal for a gentleman. But tell me, how long have you been doing Kendo?"

"Fourteen years. Is someone takin' care of your hawk while you're in jail?"

"She'll come back when I call her. How'd you get that arrow-shaped scar on your hand when you obviously aren't an archer?"

"None of your business. Which o' your British relatives gave ya that watch approximately four an' a half years ago?"

Saguru's thin lips curved into a smirk. "Five and a half years. I polish it daily."

"Must be excitin', bein' you," Heiji snarled.

Both boys fell silent, Heiji slouching against one side of the cell with a sulky expression, Saguru stiff as a British guard against the opposite wall with an infuriatingly obnoxious smirk. They avoided each other's gaze.

Saguru spoke again before Heiji had properly built up steam.

"What kind of idiot gets hit with knockout gas in the middle of an open highway?"

"Excuse me?"

Saguru was either feeling reckless or unaware of the death threat inherent in Heiji's tone. "How could Kid have flown up in a helicopter and thrown a capsule of gas squarely at your head without you even trying to stop him?"

"There was no helicopter, moron!" Heiji scoffed loudly. "And I hit the police car before getting' knocked out."

Saguru's smirk grew wider. "So you crashed without even being under the influence of gas."

"I—The cop was a frickin' idiot! And anyway, what the hell was Kid doing in a helicopter in the first place? He can fly!"

Saguru frowned abruptly, thoughtfully putting his fist under his chin. "I was wondering the same thing myself." He looked up at Heiji and said crisply, "What is the last thing you can remember before you passed out?"

Heiji glared at him. "I was ridin' down the highway with Kazuha," he said reluctantly, "when all of a sudden some idiot cop merged about two centimeters in front of me. I swerved to avoid hittin' him, fell over, and skidded into the wheels of that retarded—"

One of Saguru's eyebrows flew up. "How are you alive?"

"What're you talking about?" Heiji snapped.

"Isn't a squadcar rather larger than a motorcycle? How were you not crushed?"

"The car had already stopped movin'…" Heiji said, sticking his hands into his jacket pocket pensively, staring at the ground. "That's weird…it had definitely been drivin' a few seconds before, but it braked pretty quickly… but anyway, the cop came outta the car, and then that's the last thing I can remember."

"What did the officer look like?" Saguru demanded, his eyes widening.

"Young…" Heiji mused, taking no notice of Saguru's tone. "Black hair, blue eyes…I think that bastard was smilin', too, come ta think of it…"

Heiji's jaw fell open the exact same instant that Saguru pounded his fist into his open palm.

"Kaitou Kid!"

Heiji stood up from the wall. "Quick! What happened to you on the rooftop?"

Saguru's prim posture had degenerated into a ponderous hunch. "I was chasing Kid up the stairs of the building, but he reached the roof before I…the helicopter had already taken off when I got there, but I swear I saw a figure in white at the controls, though it is possible it was a Kid dummy…And then there was a security guard…which is strange, because I'm sure no one was following the Kid and I up the stairs, and why would he be simply standing on the roof?"

"Unless he wasn't a security guard," Heiji said with a grim grin.

Saguru turned pale. "Oh, _bugger!_"

"What happened after that?" Heiji urged.

"He refused to let me explain who I was; he called more security and they brought me downstairs…but I don't remember seeing the original guard again…"

"He musta figured you'd be too upset about bein' accused of wrongdoing to question it," Heiji smirked.

Saguru's cheeks had gone rather pink. "That _bloody wanker!_"

Heiji chuckled fatalistically, shoving his hands back in his pockets. "Kid tricked two detectives in less than half an hour."

"This is not funny!" said Saguru, knocking his hat off as he ran a frantic hand through his hair. "We were arrested because of the Kid!"

"Calm down, we didn't do anythin' wrong," Heiji said, leaning back against the wall with a yawn.

"_Bollocks_!" Saguru yelled, his face now rather flushed. "You were speeding and I was trespassing!"

"Yeah, but it was Kid's fault," Heiji said angrily. "They can't keep us in here."

Saguru's jaw stiffened. "Of course they can, you fool."

"_What'd you just call me_—"

Heiji seized Saguru's collar; Saguru jerked away, his hat slipping off his head, as he raised his hand—

"Boys, boys!"

Heiji and Saguru looked up, Heiji's fist clenching Saguru's collar and Saguru's hand locked around Heiji's wrist. A police officer with a thick beard and shiny blue eyes was standing on the other side of the bars of their cell, holding a key ring and smiling jovially.

"Just got a call from your fathers, boys!" he chuckled. "Weren't too pleased to hear about their sons' arrests!"

Both boys released each other sheepishly, then crossed their arms in defiance. "Oh, yeah?" Heiji said.

"Don't worry," the policeman chortled, one hand on his stomach, the other inserting the key into the lock of the door, "We agreed immediately to release you!"

"Did you?" Saguru said skeptically.

"Uh, actually, can I stay in here a bit longer?" Heiji said nervously. "My dad…" but he flinched in surprise as he was cut off by another roar of laughter from the policeman.

"Nope, nope! Off you two go, then!" He shooed them as if they were pesky fourth-graders. "Stay out of trouble, now! And better luck catching Kid next time!"

Saguru strode out of the cell without further hesitation, Heiji slouching reluctantly behind him.

"Well, if this isn't the best day of my life…"  
"_Oi_, Hakuba-_kun_!" the officer called. "Your hat!"

"Oh, thank you," Saguru said gratefully, taking the hat from him with almost loving care as the officer laughed strangely.

Heiji snorted.

"I'll thank you to keep your bogies inside your own nose," Saguru said primly, putting it on. He removed it again almost immediately. "What the…"

There was a little piece of paper inside the hat. Saguru pulled it out and opened it, Heiji craning over his shoulder.

Dear _Tantei_,

I hope you both got along! Hakuba-_kun_, the helicopter my associate flew off the top of the Osaka Finance building, and today's gem are in your backyard. Don't worry, I didn't hit the cat. Hattori-_kun_, that girlfriend of yours is adorable! Can you give me her phone number?

Much love,

Kaitou Kid

Heiji and Saguru's heads snapped up instantaneously, both a furious, fiery red.

The hallway was empty.

"_KID!_"

All they got in reply was a disembodied snicker.

5


	3. Shinichi and Ran in Jail

Shinichi's heart beat so fiercely against his aching ribs that he half-expected his chest to explode, and so loudly it was a wonder no one but he could hear. The officers half-supporting, half-dragging him on either side just thought that the seventeen-year-old was faking it to get out of being arrested.

"You—you don't understand," Shinichi panted, forcing open one eye to glance at the officer on his right. "I'm a detective—I want to help you solve the case—"

The officer chuckled mirthlessly. "Whatever, kid. Suspicious behavior around a crime scene is enough to get you arrested here in Osaka."

"But I'm Shi—" the rest of his words were drowned out by a loud, racking cough that ended in a gasp of pain as the officers holding Shinichi dumped him unceremoniously onto the floor of a cell. A dark-haired girl who had been escorted by two additional officers was led inside, and then before Shinichi could protest—before he could even refocus his eyes from the fall—the heavy metal door to the cell had slammed shut.

"No!" Shinichi gasped, slamming a fist onto the floor. According to his watch, he had only minutes before shrinking again—_again_—into Conan. And above all else, Shinichi thought as he glanced backwards at the girl sharing the cell, he could not turn into Conan in front of Ran.

"Now you can't run away again, Shinichi," Ran said quietly. With stupendous effort, Shinichi lifted his head, still breathing very harshly, and looked at her. Ran was pale and silent, obviously terrified that she, daughter of a former cop, had been _arrested_, but there was a quiet triumph in her gaze as she stared back down, her eyes trailing over Shinichi's scuffed jeans and oversized tee-shirt (a loan from Hattori Heiji), his damp, tousled black hair, and stopping on Shinichi's bright, feverish blue eyes.

"Ran…"

How to explain that he wanted, needed to run, and yet would have been happy to stay in jail with her for the rest of his life?

How to tell Ran that he had to leave her again?

"Shinichi—" Ran began, eyes widening in alarm as Shinichi dragged himself to his feet, leaning heavily on the wall, one hand clutching his chest.

"Ran, I have to get out," Shinichi gasped, horrified to hear his own wheezing voice.

"Shinichi, are you ill again?" Ran said. "You can't leave if you're ill. My father will come, and we'll take you to a hospital." One lone tear trickled down Ran's cheek, but she brushed it away impatiently. "Come sit down, Shinichi."

Shinichi shook his head, and the world swam dizzyingly. "Ran, please—don't do this to me." He tried to stand, but suddenly, suffocatingly, the world closed down. All other noise was reduced to a dull, distant roar, and Shinichi's ears were filled only with the drumlike pounding of his own heart—and then in an aching, suspended moment of frozen time his heart stopped beating.

Shinichi drew in a rasping, echoing breath—blue eyes wide and terrified—empty, empty silence—he was sinking into the emptiness of his own chest—

_BOOM._ His heart exploded into a pounding pulse; his whole body jolted—

only seconds left, minutes at most—

Only then did he realize that he had overbalanced and fallen into Ran's arms, and was now being held by Ran, his face pressed against her shoulder. Ran staggered slightly from his weight, but held Shinichi tightly. She shouted something, but her meaning was lost to the roaring in Shinichi's ears.

"You have to trust me, Ran," he whispered. "Just trust me."

Ran fell back against the cell wall, cradling Shinichi like an oversized child. "Of course I trust you, Shinichi," she cried, her voice strangely distant but her hot tears mingling with the sweat on Shinichi's neck. "Why don't you trust me?"

"Oi!" came a loud voice from outside the cell. "That's them in there! Get those two outta there right now!"

"Hattori-_kun_…"Ran whispered. Shinichi clenched his teeth as his heart pulsed again—his skin was on fire—just seconds now—

"Ran," he whispered faintly, right in her ear—his heart beating now with such rapidity that he nearly fainted. "It's not you I don't trust."

Banging on the door, curses in Kansai, and the clink of a key in a lock.

Ran held Shinichi tighter. "Don't leave again, Shinichi."

The heat was so blinding Shinichi could hardly think. The door opened with a crash. _Get-away-get-away-from-Ran—_

"Wait for me, Ran."

With the last of his strength, Shinichi wrenched himself from Ran's grasp and staggered out the door.

"No!" Ran shouted, tears spraying as she wildly shook her head. "Come back!" She leaped for the door as well, but the young man standing directly outside caught her by the shoulders.

"Oi! Neechan, stop! W-wait a sec, here—"

Ran spun around, grabbed Heiji's wrists, and twisted—he gasped in pain and she slammed him against the wall and darted past him.

But the hallway was already empty.

**_I wrote all of these 'Arrested' shorts a few years ago—and this is the only one that's not funny (or at least I hope so! This is the only one that isn't trying to be funny, at least). That's because Shinichi's not funny! He's so serious, it's hard to make him funny without making him the butt of the jokes, but I'm trying! I've got half-finished Shinichi-Hakuba and Shinichi-Kaitou Kid that I'm trying to finish.**_


	4. Ran and Kaito in Jail

_**I still have more 'in jail' drabbles to post from when I wrote them a few summers ago, but someone requested a 'Kaito and Ran in Jail' chapter where Ran thinks he's Shinichi, so I tried it and this is what they did! Sorry I couldn't stop a few other characters from making guest appearances, too…**_

…

Ran and Kaito in Jail

"What were those two arrested for?" a police officer said, jerking his thumb at one of the cell doors in the station.

"Hell if I know," the other said irritatedly over the sound of a man and a woman screaming at each other. "They were making a scene at the park—and the Kaitou Kid just sent a note last night that says his next heist will take place there, so security was extra-tight. I guess the guys down there just got a little over-zealous and arrested them."

"Hmph," grunted the first officer. "Wish they'd shut up for a second."

"Yeah," said the second. "What are they even shouting about, anyway?"

…

"You can't run away this time, Shinichi!"

"I'm not Shinichi!" howled Kaito, backing away from Ran in the tiny cell. "I'm not Shinichi, I'm not Shinichi!"

"Why do you keep saying that?" Ran cried, appalled.

"Because I'm not! Let go!" he jerked his arm out of Ran's grip and she gasped.

"What is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with _me?_" Kaito protested.

"Shinichi!" Ran shouted, her hands balling into fists.

"Ah!" Kaito flung his arms over his face. "Don't hit me, don't hit me!"

"First you _leave me_ in Tropical Land—" Ran grabbed Kaito's wrists; he yelped. "Then you're _missing_ for _months—"_ she wrenched his arms apart. Kaito winced and tried to pull away, but she knocked his arms away from his face and grabbed his shirt lapels. "And now you're—" She paused.

Kaito, his face screwed up in anticipation of further attack, slowly opened one eye and snuck a glance at her.

"Uh…"

Ran stared at him. The boy cowering before her was almost identical to Shinichi—same height, black hair, blue eyes—even the pitch of their voices were similar—but now that Ran looked closer…this boy's hair was slightly longer and more disheveled than Shinichi's; his cheekbones weren't quite as high and his nose was a different shape. And while Shinichi was on the slender side of a soccer player's musculature, this boy was even skinnier; he looked wiry and flexible.

The boy shot her a weak, humorous grin that would never have been seen on Shinichi's serious face. "Ah, Ran-_san_—I _am_ a handsome fellow, so I don't blame you for staring—but are you going to beat me up anytime soon?"

Ran released his shirt with a gasp. "You're not Shinichi!"

"Nope," the boy said with a relieved grin. He brushed off his shirt, then beamed at her and held out his hand. "Name's Kaito. Kuroba Kaito."

Ran shook his hand blankly.

"So, I look like a friend of yours, huh?" Kaito said, raising an eyebrow at her as he continued to grin. "Wouldn't happen to be the famous high-school detective _Kudou_ Shinichi, would it?"

"Y-yeah," Ran said defeatedly. She sighed. "I knew something was off—when I saw you in the park—but I couldn't miss the chance to talk to Shinichi!" she said, her fists clenched.

"That's why you jumped on me, huh?" Kaito asked slyly. He put a hand to his forehead and struck a melodramatic pose. "I prefer it when girls jump on me because I look like myself, not like someone else. Especially a detective," he said with an affected shudder.

Ran wasn't paying attention. "I'm sorry," she sighed, turning away and folding her arms across her stomach. A tear welled up in her eye.

Kaito's brow creased as he looked at her. Then he sighed and plopped himself down on the narrow bench. "Great." He crossed his arms. "You're upset because I'm not Shinichi, and I'm upset because you messed up my preparations. None of us are happy."

"Preparations?" Ran repeated, looking up.

"Ah…yeah," Kaito ruffled his hair and looked away. "I was helping set up for a concert in the park tonight."

Ran stared at him for a moment. "You do the exact same thing Shinichi does when he's lying."

Kaito looked swiftly back at her. "But I'm not Shinichi."

Ran held his gaze, her eyes slightly narrowed. Then she hung her head. "You're not lying," she sighed.

Kaito put his hands behind his head, leaned back against the wall, and stuck his tongue out in an exaggerated grimace of relief. He quickly composed his face, however, when Ran looked up.

"How did you know my name?" Ran asked.

"Oh, you know…" Kaito laughed weakly. "You're the famous Sleeping Kogoro's daughter. I've seen you on TV and stuff."

"Oh…" said Ran. "I didn't realize—that's kind of embarrassing." She blushed. "But—you look familiar too."

"I'm _not_ Shin—"

"I know, I know! I mean I feel like _you,_ Kaito, look familiar."

"Ah—do I, now?" Kaito said, putting his hands behind his head again.

"Yeah…" Ran crossed her arms and peered at him. "This might sound silly—but you don't work at a dry cleaning store, do you?"

"No!" Kaito sat up straight as suddenly as if he'd received an electric shock. "No, I don't work at a dry cleaning store—nothing like that—" he grinned at her. "We must've just passed on the street or something."

"Oh…" Ran said again. "Yeah…I guess that's it." She sighed and looked miserably at her feet.

Kaito frowned thoughtfully at her. Then he smiled again and lifted an arm. "Come on, come sit down. There's room for both of us."

Ran sniffed. "Thanks." She sat down stiffly next to Kaito and gripped the bench with both hands. Her knuckles were white.

"Guess you really miss Kudou, huh?" Kaito said with a weak chuckle, his eyebrows knit.

"Yeah," Ran said hesitatingly. "He's been gone so long…"

"Well," Kaito tapped Ran's shoulder. "Whatever he's doing, it must be really important to keep him away from such a lovely lady."

Ran looked at him, startled. Kaito grinned and held out his hand, then rolled his wrist, and pulled a blue orchid from out of nowhere.

"Ta-da!"

"Oh…thanks," Ran laughed weakly and accepted the flower. Her face quickly fell again, though.

"Hey, don't frown!" Kaito said. "I got more flowers around here somewhere, wait a sec—" He jiggled around exaggeratedly, patting his shirt and pants and ruffling his hair. "Aha!" He pulled a second flower out of his ear. "Here you are!"  
"I know it's important!" Ran burst out, so suddenly that Kaito nearly fell off the bench. "Whenever I ask him what's wrong, he always tries to make light of it, but I can tell something's wrong, I can tell! But he wants me to act like everything's normal—" her voice quieted again. "That's the least I can do, isn't it? Act like everything's normal, and hope that he'll be okay?"

Kaito stared at her, his face pale but with two spots of color darkening on his cheeks. "Ah…"

"He thinks he can handle it on his own, but doesn't he understand how hard it is for me, too?" She looked miserably down at her clasped hands. "Does he realize it's all an act?"

Kaito sighed and looked down at his own hands. He rolled his wrist and a red rose appeared in his palm. "No," he said slowly. "I guess he didn't think too hard about that."

They sat quietly for a moment. Then a third voice broke the silence.

"Kaito!"

Ran and Kaito looked up. Two very irritated-looking police officers were standing at the cell door, flanking a short, teenaged girl with long brown hair and a furious scowl.

"Kaito," she said again, "you're such a moron."

"Aoko!" Kaito said delightedly, bounding to his feet as the guards opened the cell door and Aoko took a step forward. "Have you come to rescue me?"

Aoko smacked her fist into her palm. "What the hell happened, Kaito?"

"Ah…" Kaito skidded to a halt a good two steps away from her, then grinned. "I was hanging around the park today when I met Mouri Ran here—you know, Sleeping Kogoro's daughter! She mistook me for someone else, though, and we had a…little altercation."

"Altercation?" Aoko repeated. "I thought we were supposed to meet in the park today. What, did you mistake her for me?"

"Ahhh…" Kaito raised a finger and glanced from Aoko to Ran—then back to Aoko, then Ran again. "Hmmm," said Kaito, laying his hand on his chin as he eyed the girls.

Ran was taller than Aoko by half a head, and, from years of karate, had a more muscular build than the curvilinear Aoko. Ran's face was slightly longer and thinner than Aoko's round face, and her hair was more neatly combed than Aoko's shorter, softer and thicker locks—but other than that—

"Maybe I did," Kaito laughed. "You two look—"

"Enough!" Aoko snapped, her face red. "Kaito, we don't have time for this. Let's go, please."

"But Aoko, this is kinda cool, don't you think—you and Ran-chan—"

"Look, I've been trying to get you out all day, 'cause I knew you'd want to go to your precious Kaitou Kid's _heist_ tonight—So don't provoke me, Kaito, I'm already pissed enough at you!'

"Oh…" Kaito said, looking at her with wide, surprised eyes. "Aoko…"

"What?" she snapped.

He held up the red rose with a flourish and offered it to her. "Aoko, I am indebted to you. Please accept this flower as a token of my affection."

Aoko took the flower with an inscrutable expression. Then she clasped Kaito's hand in both of hers.

"I said _let's go_!" she cried, and gave his hand an almighty jerk.

Kaito's reply was lost to a howl of pain as Aoko dragged him down the hall and out of sight. The last Ran heard was Kaito shouting "Watch it, Aoko, you'll dislocate my shoulder—"

"I wish I could dislocate _Kid's_ shoulder," Aoko snarled back. "Then we'll see who's gonna pull a heist at the park tonight."

"_God_, woman!"

Ran leaned back against the wall with a small sigh as silence fell at last in the jail. She glanced at her watch and then up at the ceiling a miserable frown on her face.

She was hardly alone for a minute, however, when a police officer marched towards her cell from the opposite direction that Kaito and Aoko had departed, followed by Mouri Kogoro, Conan toddling along after them.

"Miss Mouri," the officer nodded at her as he unlocked the cell.

"Thank you," Ran nodded at him and slipped out. "Hello, Dad!"

Kogoro grunted. "What the hell is this, Ran? You got _arrested_?"

"Um…" Ran began.

"Do you know how many strings I had to pull to get you out this fast?" Kogoro growled, crossing his arms. "It won't even go on your record."

Ran beamed. "Thank you, Dad!"

Kogoro grunted, but one of his eyebrows lifted into a cocky jaunt. Behind Ran, Conan made a face. The little boy glanced at Ran's legs, then looked up at her face. "Why did you get arrested in the first place, Ran-neechan?" he asked.

"I thought I saw Shinichi," Ran sighed, looking at the orchid in her fist.

"You thought you saw Shinichi?" Conan repeated. He grinned and raised his eyebrows in an infuriating smirk.

Ran scowled. "Yeah! But it wasn't him, it was someone who looks almost identical to him. And he was in the cell with me until about a minute before you two got here!"

Conan's face became immediately serious again. "A teenager who looks like Shinichi Kudou was here?" he repeated. "Is he still here?" He turned around and made to run down the hall in the opposite direction, but Ran caught him by the collar.

"Oh no you don't!" she cried, her cheeks pink with fury. "I already lost Shinichi today—there's no way _you're_ escaping from me, too!"  
"B-but, Ran-neechan!" Conan protested, his voice suddenly petulant and higher in pitch. "That wasn't really Shinichi-niichan—"

"I don't care!" Ran snapped. Conan grunted as she picked him up under one arm. "We're leaving. Come on, Dad!" she called imperiously to a bemused Kogoro.

"Ah…Ran—I should probably stop and thank Megure-keibu—"

"I said _come on!_"

…

…

_**Ran and Kaito glimpsed each other three times during the "Black Star" case (files 156-159; episode 76), to which Ran and Kaito refer when she says he looks familiar.**_

_**Also, the name 'Ran' means 'orchid.' The red roses are a reference to the Kaitou Kid special, where Kaito gives Aoko a red rose.**_


	5. Heiji and Kazuha in Jail, Part 1

Kazuha and Heiji in Jail

Kazuha Toyama, seated on the one bench in a tiny grey jail cell, narrowed her eyes at the tall teenage boy pacing tight circles before her. "_Ahou_."

"_Baka_," Heiji fired back, almost unconsciously, tugging on the brim of his baseball cap.

"Jerk," Kazuha snapped, her eyes flicking back and forth as she watched him.

"Brat," Heiji retorted.

"Bastard."

"Damn nuisance."

"Uncaring—careless—"

"Baby."

"You…you…you meanie!"

Heiji let out a bark of vindictive laughter. "That's the best ya got?"

"Heiji," Kazuha said, between gritted teeth. "Heiji, we're in _jail!_"

"Calm down," Heiji waved a dismissive hand.

"_Calm down?_ We're only in high school!" Kazuha breathed in harshly through her nose, color rising to her face. "We're too young to be felons! Heiji, what have you done?"

"There's nothing to worry about, Kazuha," Heiji said, looking slightly alarmed by her outburst. "Our dads'll be here soon."

"Maybe that's what I'm worried about," she retorted.

Heiji scowled suddenly. "We weren't there to do anything wrong. I was chasing a murderer, and you followed me. Speakin' of which, why the hell'd you follow me into a bar?"

The angry flush on Kazuha's face deepened. "Someone's gotta keep you out of trouble! Unfortunately, that person's me!"

As Kazuha blushed redder still, the angry coloring receded from Heiji's face, just as quickly as it had come. "Never learn, do ya?" he smirked, not unkindly. "Starts with you followin' me into the boys' bathroom since preschool, and then 'fore ya know it it's a nightclub…" Heiji trailed off affectionately, hands in pockets, and his eyes locked with Kazuha's.

At that moment, a moment the likes of which they had only experienced once before, while clutching desperately to a branch over the edge of a cliff, they completely understood one another.

"Heiji…"Kazuha said softly. Heiji pushed up the brim of his cap, leaned down slightly—

"I just wish I had some _evidence!_" he burst out. "Ya know?"

"What?" Kazuha gasped.

"If I could just figure out the victim's dying message," Heiji said, twisting his cap backwards, "I could prove that Oguchi-san's the murderer, and then we'd have a legit reason for being in that club and we could go home."

From the depths of his jean pockets Heiji produced a crossword puzzle torn from the day's newspaper before Kazuha's disbelieving eyes.

"The victim was a genius at these things, remember?" Heiji mused, waving the puzzle below Kazuha's nose. "Yet he got twenty-nine out of a hundred and forty-four questions wrong. It must be a code, don'cha think?" Without waiting for an answer Heiji leaned his back against the concrete wall and slid down to the ground, elbows on knees and crossword clenched before him.

"Heiji—you're so stupid!" Kazuha snapped.

"Really, just gimme a chance to solve it, _ahou_! And why d'ya sound like you have a cold?"

"You are so clueless!" Kazuha shrieked.

"Which is why I'm lookin' at the damn thing, so don't disturb me!"

A police officer pacing the hallway outside their cell poked his head in the barred window on the door. "Please keep it down."

"That's NOT the kind of clue I'm talkin' about!" Kazuha cried, ignoring the officer.

"Well shut up for now and tell me later, 'cause in case ya haven't realized it, I'm tryin' ta get us outta here!"

"You're _ignoring_ me is what you're doing, ya idiot!" Kazuha stamped her foot, twisting on the bench to glare more directly at Heiji on the floor.

The officer at the door cleared his throat. "It's you who is ignoring me, miss."  
"You said you didn't want to be in jail! I'm aquittin' us both so you don't have to be scared anymore! I don't like it when you're scared, ya baby."

Kazuha's mouth opened to retort, but no sound came out.

"That'll keep her quiet for a little while at least, Officer," Heiji said to the man at the door. "Ya can leave now, if ya don't mind."

The officer looked like he was about to protest, but then nodded hesitantly and departed.

Kazuha seethed, but closed her jaw with a snap. The cell became very quiet, the only noise the scratching of Heiji's pencil on the newspaper clipping. Kazuha watched him scribble with a pained expression on her face.

"H-Hei—"

"What now?" Heiji frowned sternly up at her.

Kazuha stared blankly back for a moment. "I'm cold."

Heiji sighed. "Come take my jacket then."

Slowly, Kazuha slid off the hard bench and pulled Heiji's proffered jacket around her—the shoulders were far too big but at least it was snuggly—and rested her back against the wall, beside Heiji.

There passed a few more moments of pencil scratching and muttered curses, then Kazuha dropped her head to rest on Heiji's shoulder. Heiji stopped writing immediately, looked over at her, and then said, "Is this your way of apologizing?"

"Apologizing for what?" Kazuha snapped, her intended shrillness dulled by the fact that her mouth was pressed into Heiji's shoulder.

Heiji patted her on the head. "Of course I mean my little follower should apologize for not trusting the boss!"

Kazuha's dark eyes narrowed as she glared up at Heiji, then sniffed and shifted to rest more comfortably against Heiji with as much dignity as possible.

"Because I am using you to get me out of jail and to keep me warm, I will ignore your idiocy just this once."

Heiji snickered, pencil in his mouth, eyes raking the crossword. "Whatever you say," he smiled. "Little follower."

2


	6. Heiji and Kazuha in Jail, Part 2

_**Here's an old one that I hadn't meant to write. Apparently, Heiji and Kazuha didn't think their story was done yet. Finally posted!**_

Kazuha and Heiji in Jail

Part II

"Truth or dare?" Kazuha said boredly, dropping her chin onto her arms.

Heiji frowned; Kazuha's movement had caused her shoulderbones to poke out, and he shifted to rest more comfortably against her. The two of them sat back-to-back on the one lone bench in their jail cell, knees drawn up to chests in the semi-darkness of a prison ward at night.

"Truth," Heiji said finally, as nonchalantly as possible. His last dare had involved striking up a none-too-genteel conversation with the officer patrolling the corridor outside, and while it had almost—_almost_—been worth it to see Kazuha laugh for the first time since their arrest, something told Heiji that it would be safer to try for good terms with their prison guards if this incident was going to be corrected before the two of them were made into sushi by their officer-fathers. "Yeah, truth."

Kazuha grinned slyly into her arms. "Coward."

"_Ahou_!" Heiji cried indignantly, straightening. "I'm no—"

"Shut up, I'm thinking of a question!"

"I'm no coward!"

"Didn't I say I'm thinking?"

Halfway through another retort, Heiji abruptly dropped his head back onto his forearms. "Whatever," he muttered, thus ending another round of their unceasing, intermittent bicker.

Kazuha sniffed triumphantly, then resumed pensively chewing her fingernail.

Heiji yawned, sat quietly for a few moments more, then said, in a low voice which contained a smirk, "If I'm rememberin' right, the last time we were stuck t'gether you were much more scared than I was."

"You talkin' about when that kidnapper locked us in his attic? I was not scared!" Kazuha protested, all indolence gone from her figure.

Heiji snorted softly. "I could feel ya shakin' against me, _ahou_."

"No! Of course I was not scared, _ahou_, 'cause—" Kazuha broke off quickly, and Heiji could practically feel the heat radiating off the back of her neck.

"What's the matter with you?" he turned to look at Kazuha, eyebrows raised sardonically. "You're weird."

"Hmph!" Kazuha met his glance with a catty smirk. "I have my question now. During that case, you said you needed to tell me something."

Heiji's lazy composure fled his face faster than a music critic listening to Shinichi sing. "_N-nani?_"

"Tell the truth: what did you want to say?"

Heiji made an odd gulping noise. "Geh!"

"Tell me!" Kazuha said commandingly, spinning herself around on the narrow bench to kneel facing Heiji. "It's the rules!"

Heiji hunched his shoulders, apparently trying to make himself as small as possible on the edge of the bench. "D-didn't I tell you at that time? That—that your necklace was caught on my shirt and chokin' me or something?"

Kazuha leaned in very close to Heiji, who began to sweat and cast a desperate glance around the tiny cell. "Ya _ahou_," she shouted, causing Heiji to wince exaggeratedly. "I wasn't wearing a necklace that day and you told me that my ponytail was tickling your neck at that time!"

"W-well then, there ya go," Heiji said with an attempt at forcefulness, when in fact he felt hotter than ever. When Kazuha got mad she narrowed her eyes just like a cat, and hell if it didn't make her look _extraordinarily_ sexy…_Not a healthy thought! Not a healthy thought!_

"Liar!" Kazuha accused, so close now that she nearly headbutted Heiji in the forehead. "You said you'd been wantin' to tell me for a long time. You said you'd keep telling me until I was sick of hearin' you say it!"

He gulped. "Are ya c-calling me a liar?"

"Use your detective skills and tell me yourself!"

Under Kazuha's unremitting glare, Heiji somehow managed to rally himself; he leaped off the bench to his feet and stood in front of the seated Kazuha with his hands spread. "Okay, I'll tell ya! But first, you hafta do a Truth or Dare."

"But it's your turn—" Kazuha protested.

"D'YOU WANNA KNOW OR WHAT?" Heiji roared.

"OKAY, OKAY!" Kazuha bit her lip, her arms folded thoughtfully. The way Heiji was scowling didn't promise any semi-dignified or remotely healthy dares coming her way. "Truth."

"Ha!" Heiji cried triumphantly. "Okay, finish the sentence from just now. Why weren't you scared when we were trapped in that crazy lawyer's attic?"

"W-Why wasn't I scared?" Kazuha planted her arms on either side of her legs in an attempt at defiance. Then she turned thoughtful. "Well, I really was terrified-scared, but I wasn't worried-scared. I guess because you were there next to me. I figured ya had a plan. And when you left, I only wanted to know what you were goin' to say. I mean," she added hastily, glancing up at Heiji as if to check that he wasn't laughing, "all that kendo and detective work has to be good for something, right?"

Heiji didn't respond; he was staring at her with an expression of utmost concentration on his face, as if she was a riddle or code he desperately needed to crack.

"Anyway," Kazuha continued, sensing weakness, "that does not make me a coward! Weren't you scared too?"

"Of course I was!" Heiji scoffed distractedly. "But I was 'worried-scared,' not 'terrified-scared.' How in the hell was I gonna get you outta there? …You know, you …bein' a girl an' all."

Kazuha began to turn scarlet in anger, then with shocking speed seemed to decide against outrage. "Well, I said it, didn't I?" she said. "Now you tell me yours."

Heiji jumped. "Uh…"

"YOU PROMISED, HEIJI!"

"Okay, okay! Jeez, woman!" Heiji began sweating again. _Can't tell her the whole thing_…_think fast!_ He drew a deep breath:

"__—'cause after seventeen years it looks like I'm stuck wit' ya!—And…" Heiji trailed off, drawing in another deep breath. "And…since you argue and start fights with me all the time I wanted to make sure you knew I actually like you a lot—And just so ya know, it was _damn _hard figurin' out that number code to save your life! I kept thinkin' about that bastard with the gun to your head."

Kazuha stared up at him, openmouthed. Heiji glanced at her, then dropped his gaze to the floor and turned slightly away. "And…" He half-glanced at her, then looked away again. "And also, Kazuha…I can remember exactly what you looked like at that moment and I know you didn't have a necklace on."

"Oh…" Kazuha seemed at a loss for words. "Oh…Hei—"

He didn't turn around, but stood very still in the center of the tiny cell.

Kazuha stood, still clutching his jacket around her shoulders. The cell was quite dark now, but she was sure she saw Heiji's broad shoulders shaking ever so slightly as they rose and fell with his breathing. "Heiji, I…"

Without warning Heiji whipped around, a broad—if not slightly strained—grin on his face once more. "Well, anyway, that's my silly story. Your turn!"

It was Kazuha's turn to make an odd noise. "Eh?"

"Truth or dare, Kazuha?"

"But I did my next turn for you…" Kazuha protested feebly, then found strength in fury. "_Ahou_!"

"I said way more than I needed to, little follower, so now the boss says it's your turn again!"

"Will ya shut up about that!" Kazuha shrieked, leaping to her feet. "You're such an idiot, Heiji!"  
"Me? I'm the idiot?"

"Yes, you!" Kazuha jabbed her finger into Heiji's chest. "You can notice the tiniest, most insignificant details about cases, but when it comes to—to _important things—_" she raised her fists.

"Yessir, this is them!" This new voice came from somewhere outside the cell.

Both Heiji and Kazuha whipped around, frozen just as Kazuha's fist landed in the palm of Heiji's defensively raised hand. Into the sudden quiet came the click of keys in a lock, and then the heavy cell door swung open.

"Father!" both Heiji and Kazuha cried.

Director General Hattori and Police Chief Toyama stood in the doorway of the cell beside an eager guard awed to be in the presence of officers. Both men wore identical stern scowls with one eyebrow raised. The sight of their teenage children seemingly holding hands was so comical that Heiji and Kazuha might have started laughing had they not been mortified. They quickly released each other.

"Great timing, sirs," the officer said. "These two have been shouting on and off since we got 'em in here."

"Yeah, just in time, Dad!" Heiji said, turning his back on Kazuha and bounding forward as if to bypass the three officers on his way out of the cell.

Hattori Heizo sidestepped quickly into his son's path and stopped him with a sharp backhand across the face that caused Heiji to stumble.

"Ack—Dad…"

"Bar brawling, Heiji?" Hattori Heizo thundered.

"Dad, wait!" Heiji protested, one hand raised placatingly, the other touching his cheek. "I know the real murderer. Look at this crossword, it's a code! I solved it hours ago, but this _baka_ wouldn't let me go!" he gestured angrily at the police officer. "I was followin' the real murderer, dad, that's all!"

"And my daughter?" Chief Toyama said incredulously. Kazuha tugged at Heiji's jacket guiltily.

"She was just followin' me!" said Heiji, the hurt in his expression quickly giving way to anger. "We didn't do anything wrong!"

"Enough," Heizo said curtly. "We will continue discussing your detective games at home."

"GAMES?" Heiji howled, but even as his father stiff-armed him down the jail ward he thought with profound relief, _What perfect timing! Any longer in there with her and I might have said something—_

"Just in time, Chief, or I think these two would've ripped each other to bits by morning!" the young officer said jovially to Chief Toyama, who nodded tightly, his hand on a sulking Kazuha's shoulder. _What perfect timing! Maybe Heiji was going to say something—_

"Hate to think what'd have happened if those two stayed in there overnight," the officer continued with an oblivious smile.

Heiji and Kazuha gave identical starts, then turned appallingly crimson. "_Ahou!" "Not a healthy thought, not a healthy thought…"_

…

…

_**The 'little follower' stuff is a reference to "Magician Murder" (files 487-490; Episodes 406-408) and the kidnapping and being imprisoned in an attic is a reference to "Heiji and Kazuha in Grave Danger" (files 390-392; episodes 291-293).**_

4


	7. Shiho and Saguru in Jail

_In an unspecified British prison…_

Sixteen-year-old Saguru Hakuba snuck a glance at the girl sitting as far away from him as possible on the hard prison bench they shared. For the past three hours, forty minutes, and three point one seconds that they had shared a jail cell, she had not once glanced at him nor acknowledged his presence.

He coughed experimentally.

She didn't move.

He faked a sneeze.

"Bless you," she said coolly.

"Cheers," Saguru said, looking at her, but she hadn't so much as glanced at him. Saguru continued to stare, but she didn't react, so he smiled weakly and looked away.

The girl sighed.

Saguru gripped his hands together.

She crossed one leg over the other, and Saguru folded his arms. He glanced back over at her.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back to rest against the wall.

Saguru cleared his throat. She didn't move.

"Ah…" he cleared his throat again; his voice sounded awkwardly loud in the silence of the cell. "Excuse me?"

Finally the girl looked up at him with dark, thundercloud-blue eyes, which were shaped just slanted enough to set her apart in England. Those eyes were the reason Saguru was willing to ask the question:

"You are part-Japanese, aren't you?"

The girl nodded disinterestedly.

"So am I!" Saguru smiled. "Are you half British and half Japanese?"

"Yes," she said.

"Fascinating," Saguru said with a pompous nod. "I am as well. My father is a police chief in Japan. My mother is a psychologist* here in England."

"Hm." The girl didn't look remotely impressed. "My father is Japanese, my mother is British. They are both scientists."

"Ah."

She leaned her head against the wall again and crossed her arms. Saguru debated asking what type of scientists her parents were, but his detective's instincts were telling him he wouldn't be getting an answer.

"…What's your name?" he asked finally.

"Anita*," she said flatly, shooting him a glance out of the corner of her eye. "…Yours?"

"James* Hakuba," Saguru said, using his British name. "But most call me Saguru."

"Hm," said Anita noncommittally.

"Do you have a Japanese name?" Saguru asked.

"Yes," Anita said flatly. She pursed her lips and looked pointedly straight ahead.

"…I see…" Saguru said. He glanced down at the floor, his cheeks slightly pink, then back at Anita. Her eyes were closed again. In spite of himself, Saguru let out a soft laugh.

"What's so funny?" Anita demanded, looking straight at him for the first time.

"Ah, pardon me," Saguru said, giving her a crooked, superior little smile. "I am a detective, you see, and I was just thinking that I'm going to have to arrest myself for murdering this conversation."

Anita snorted. "Except that you are already in jail, are you not?" she said with a small, wry smile.

Saguru frowned and cast his eyes up and away. "My parents thought that I ought to experience that which a criminal experiences, in order to more fully understand them," he said loftily. "I have committed no crime."

"A-ah," Anita said, mock-idly. "Is that why your mum said she hoped this would teach you to clean your room before going off on cases when she dropped you off here?"

Saguru made a funny choking noise. "Uh…"

Anita laughed quickly, then seemed to catch herself.

Saguru gathered himself with the air of one trying to salvage the remnants of his pride. "Well—why are you here?"

"I can't tell you that," Anita said calmly.

"Why not?"

"Because then I'd have to kill you," she said, her face entirely composed. Saguru stared at her. She glanced coolly back at him. "Seriously."

Saguru gaped at her for a moment, then gave a valiant attempt at an amused laugh. She merely raised an eyebrow at him, then resumed staring forward with her arms crossed. He stopped laughing immediately, his cheeks pink.

They sat in silence once more, Anita perfectly still, Saguru slouching slightly with his hands gripping the opposite elbows, his gaze directed away from her. He considered trying to speak several times, but gave up each time before the words reached his lips, and only shifted his seat on the uncomfortable prison bench.

Anita recrossed her legs.

Saguru laid a finger along his jaw and snuck a glance at her.

She yawned.

Saguru sat up straight and whipped out his pocketwatch. He clutched it in his fist and stared almost desperately at its second-hand. They'd already been in here for four hours, eight minutes, six point nine seconds…

"That's a nice watch."

Saguru's head snapped up. Anita was looking at him—her eyes were heavy-lidded and bored-looking, one eyebrow raised, but she was definitely looking at him, perhaps even leaning slightly to get a better look at the watch.

"Thanks!" Saguru said, sitting up. "It was a gift from my parents. It really comes in handy in detective cases."

"Looks very well cared-for."

"I polish it and rewind it every day."

"When you should be cleaning your room?" she deadpanned.

"Ah…" Saguru grinned. "A detective has his priorities." He nodded at the stylish black bag at Anita's side. "Looks like scientists have their own priorities, too. Do you polish your Prada purse every day, as well?"

"No," said Anita with a small, superior smile. "I just admire it from afar."

"Ah," Saguru said, his grin becoming rather debonair; "Admire the bag, or admire your lovely reflection holding it?"

Anita looked up, startled. A faint blush appeared on her pale cheeks—

"Hey."

Both Saguru and Anita gave a start and looked up. On the other side of the barred cell door stood a tall man in a black trenchcoat, with long silver-blonde hair and a black fedora pulled low over his eyes.

Beside Saguru, Anita shivered. But she rose immediately and her face was nonchalant as she stepped toward the door.

A police officer appeared at the door as well. "Your bail has been posted, miss," he said, with a rather edgy glance at the blonde man. He unlocked the cell door and held it open. "You're free to go."

"Good-bye," Saguru said as Anita exited the cell. "It was nice to meet you."

She didn't look back. The tall blonde man, however, scowled at Saguru. His eyes were bright, pale blue but slanted like Anita's and his own, and gleamed strangely from the shadows of his low fedora. Saguru felt a shiver crawl up his back but he did not look away.

"Who's that?" the man in black muttered gruffly to Anita, his eyes still boring into Saguru's.

She shrugged and began to walk away. "Nobody."

The man in black gave him one last glare, then followed Anita down the hall. "You have a lot of explaining to do," he said coldly as he disappeared from Saguru's sight.

Saguru breathed deeply and realized with some surprise that he had been holding his breath. "I'd like to ask you why you have eyes like that," he muttered, his eyes fixed on the hallway down which Anita and the man in black had disappeared. "The eyes of someone who has killed many people without a care…" He put a hand on his chest and inhaled again as the officer closed the cell door with a raucous clang.

"Wait, sir!" Saguru jumped to his feet. "When am I going to be getting out?"

"Oh, your mother called, James," the officer said with a hearty smile that made him cringe. "She's working late tonight, so she said she'd pick you up around suppertime."

"She didn't give a precise time?" Saguru asked desperately.

"'Fraid not, son," the officer smiled. "Just sit tight—should only be a few more hours."

"Right," Saguru said with a sigh. The officer walked away with a wave and Saguru backpedaled to sit back down on the hard prison bench.

He thought of Anita, and the strange part-Japanese man in black with the chilling eyes. Saguru took out his pocketwatch. If only he could follow them…but somehow he figured that "detective's instinct" wouldn't be enough to convince his mother.

He sighed.

He crossed his legs.

The cell was awfully quiet.

_*I made up the details about Saguru's mom being a psychiatrist, but it seems to fit his fascination with criminals' motives. And I made up Saguru's British name. He looks like a James. Shiho's British name, Anita, is her name from the English dub. _

_**I actually went through a lot of effort trying to decide what Ai's English name should be, and then finally decided that she and her sister Akemi would have flower names for some reason. For Shiho/Ai I considered 'Violet' (which represents watchfulness and faithfulness) but settled on 'Heather' (which represents solitude), and chose 'Camilla' for Akemi (this flower represents longing and devotion to a lover). Then I decided to just go with the English dub names. Shiho's name in the dub is 'Anita Hailey,' so here I've called her 'Anita.'**_

_**Edited: Added the bits about Anita's (Shiho's) Prada bag, to parallel Saguru's watch and because she apparently has a thing for designer bags from the manga, and Saguru's flirting, like he did to Aoko in Magic Kaito 3-3. Also added more in the Gin part, including Saguru's muttered musings; he says his little catchphrase: "I'd like to ask you why…" and then says the same thing Shinichi thought when he first saw Gin at Tropical Land.**_


	8. Shinichi and the Kaitou Kid in Jail

"Well," said the Kaitou Kid. "This is kinda funny, isn't it?"

Kudou Shinichi, teen detective extraordinaire, scowled. "Shut up."

"Hey, hey!" the Kaitou Kid said laughingly, raising his hands, "it's not my fault we're here. I'm just as freaked out as you are, Mr. Detective."

Shinichi gritted his teeth and tugged forlornly at the cuffs pinning his wrists behind him. Then he pressed his face to the barred window separating his dingy cell from that of the infamous thief next door and, somehow, from some deep reserves of hard-earned arrogance, summoned a mocking smile.

"This isn't going to last forever, Kid," he said with relish, convulsively tugging at the cuffs again. "I'm going to get out of here, and when I do, the first thing I'll do is arrest you."

Kid laughed openly from the shadows in the far corner of his cell. "Looks like someone beat you to it."

"Be reasonable," Shinichi snapped, then once more grinned cockily. "We both know that neither of us can be held here for much longer."

Kid lifted the brim of his hat, one dark eyebrow raised. "You're bluffing," he said decisively. "You don't know the first thing about picking handcuffs."

"I'll bet you don't know the first thing about negotiating with corrupt foreign officials," Shinichi tried, keeping up his challenging grin. "Can you even speak English? Aside from 'ladies and gentlemen,' that is."

Kid did not immediately respond.

"I didn't think so," Shinichi scoffed.

Kid sighed and shifted restlessly. "From now on I'm limiting heists to countries with organized governments."

"I'll be sure to remember that."

"Will you ever stop thinking about how to catch me?"

"Not likely."

"God, do you need a life."

Shinichi scowled. Kid laughed delightedly. "Come on, I got you! Say it, say 'point!'"

"Grow up, we're in jail in a foreign country," Shinichi snapped. He began to pace, still wrestling with his handcuffs.

"I'll grow up if you will, Mr. Detective," Kid called through the barred window.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shinichi snapped, kicking spitefully at a piece of rubble on the floor of the dank cell.

"Let's work together."

"Never."

"Have it your way." Kid fell silent, listening to Shinichi pace. "I like being in here just as much as you do."

Shinichi slumped against the wooden cell door. It looked as though one good kick would knock it down, but it was much more solid than it appeared. Shinichi had the bruises to prove it. If only his ankles weren't cuffed, too—

"Feels like it's getting smaller, doesn't it?" Kid said softly. "Probably the dirtiest place either of us have been in. No fans, no admirers, no one with half your wits…no cell phone reception…"

"I'm not helping you escape," Shinichi said scathingly.

"So you're going to sacrifice your freedom to deny me mine?"

"For now. I'm not staying here long."

"You once referred to locking me up as 'burying me in the cemetery of jail,'" Kid continued, his voice light. "Willing to bury yourself alive too?"

Shinichi's eyes narrowed hatefully.

"If you get out, I get out," Kid continued. "I haven't committed a crime here yet."

"You can stop your mind tricks," Shinichi said. "Whatever decision I make, it won't be influenced by you." He continued pacing, trying to ignore the shadowed face in the barred window.

"I do have a plan," said the Kid.

"So do I."

"Let me hear it, then."

Shinichi glared. "Do you really think I'll be this easily manipulated?"  
"Not at all," the Kid said easily. "I have no idea what you're about to do. In fact, this is the most unsure I've ever been about a heist."

In spite of himself, Shinichi stopped pacing.

"See, you're smart," Kid continued, pressing his advantage, "and you know I'm smart, and that we should try to be gone from here before someone with real authority records this. But you're also righteous and inflexible, and you'd never help me. Even though I've helped you out a few times now, if you'll remember."

Shinichi turned around, his arms crossed, his back to the Kid's cell. He frowned and rubbed his chin.

"…Well?" the Kid said after a few moments.

"I'm thinking!" Shinichi snapped.

"Geez," the Kid moaned. "Well can't you think a little faster? I've almost picked the cell door."

"What?"

"Yeah," the Kid said breezily. "While I was talking to the detective-_sama_ I picked my handcuffs and now I'm about to get the door—so I guess you've got about ten more seconds to make up your mind—wait, more like five—damn, I'm good—"

Shinichi laughed. "You're not picking the door."

"You think the great Kaitou Kid couldn't turn anything into a lockpick?"

"I'm sure you can," Shinichi snapped at the dark silhouette just barely visible through the barred window between the cells. "But the doors of our cells are closed with a sliding bolt from the outside, not a lock. It's crude but effective. Even you can't pick it."

The Kid sighed and leaned against the cell door, his hat cocked at just the right angle to hide most of his face from Shinichi's sight. "Well, it was worth a try. I was hoping to play on your anxiety about being in jail."

Shinichi snickered. "Too bad for you I always keep a cool head and consider all the possibilities."

"Reee-ally?" Kid said, his voice breezy once again. "That's not the impression I got the first time we met. I guess first impressions are hard to shake."

"Hm?"

"The time you figured out I was disguised as your girlfriend. I showed you the strap of my bra and you thought I had taken all of Ran-san's clothing and left her naked somewhere." Kid snickered. "Hoo-boy, you flipped your lid."

"You—you had already vanished using a smoke capsule!" Shinichi growled.

"Yeah, but I couldn't have been far, could I?" Kid laughed. "Not on a ship at sea. Anyway, as you must have figured out, the dress, panties and bra were all my own. Did you consider _that_ possibility?"

Shinichi ground his teeth together so hard they hurt. "Leave Ran out of—"

"Got it!" Kid shouted triumphantly. Shinichi saw his arms move, then a small capsule flew through the barred window joining their cells; it struck the ground at Shinichi's cuffed feet and exploded with a blinding flash of white light.

Shinichi cried out and fell backwards; over the sound of his own body hitting the floor, he heard from the cell next door the unmistakable sound of a bolt sliding in a lock, and then a door swinging open.

"Catch you later, detective," said the Kid from his cell. Shinichi heard a quiet metallic 'tink' inside his own cell, then the sound of a door slamming from Kid's. He staggered to his feet, hampered by the cuffs around his ankles, furiously blinking spots from his eyes, and threw himself at the window between the cells.

"Kid!"

Shinichi peered as far as he could into the next cell—but he saw no one. The cell was empty.

"Impossible!" he cried, his eyes popping in his head. He staggered back, and something crunched beneath his sneakers.

He looked down; it was a long, thin strip of metal. With a curse, Shinichi dropped to the ground, seized the lockpick, and went to work on the cuffs around his ankles.

After ten humiliating minutes of ignominious jiggling and not a few swears, he managed to unlock one of the cuffs. He got a wrist free after five more.

"Finally!" Shinichi shouted, jumping to his feet. He shoved the lockpick into his pocket, reached down to the button on his amplified sneakers, and cranked them up to full power. Then he backed up as far as the cell would let him, and took a running kick at the door.

The bar on the other side snapped and the door banged open. Shinichi raced out, cuffs still dangling off one arm and leg.

"Kid," he snarled under his breath as he ran down the hallway. "You can't have gotten far…"

Back in his cell, the Kaitou Kid exhaled deeply. "Whew. Thought he'd never get free."

He got up from where he had been lying pressed against the wall with the window to Shinichi's cell, and stretched. "That was pretty close." He put a hand to his chin and stretched his mouth open so his jaw joints popped. Then he pursed his cheeks experimentally and made a strange sound, like a door creaking on its hinges.

Kid grinned. "Wow, I'm good."

He walked over to his still-locked cell door, rubbing his jaw, and cleared his throat.

"Excuse me, guard, sir?" he said in slightly accented English, his voice completely different than it had been a moment ago. "I'm sorry—but could you come here, please? I really have to pee!"

_**I started this one years ago, but I just couldn't figure out how to end it because I really had no idea what Shinichi would do. Would he work with Kid or stick to his principles? I was also trying very hard not to be swayed by the fact that I love the Kaitou Kid and I really dislike Shinichi. In the end I took the decision away from him; hopefully this ending has remained true to the characters while allowing Shinichi to retain at least some of his dignity.**_


	9. Shinichi and Kogoro in Jail

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

Shinichi glanced over at his cellmate, a pained expression on his face. He opened his mouth, grimaced, then closed it again and looked away.

Kogoro continued to tap his foot, a surly expression on his face as he sat slouched on the bench.

Shinichi, seated on the other end of the bench, edged further away and nearly fell off the end. Kogoro didn't look up.

_Geez…I still have at least a few hours before I change back into Conan…but… _He glanced at Kogoro again and winced. _This is too much…_

"Hey."

Shinichi jumped. "Ah…Y-yes, Mr. Mouri?"

"Hm," Kogoro grunted. "What's the deal with you and my daughter?"

"W-what do you mean?" Shinichi stammered, his face suddenly bright pink all over.

"You and Ran," Kogoro growled. "My daughter."

"Ah," Shinichi said nervously, "We're friends, Mr. Mouri. Best friends."

"Yeah?"  
"Yeah."

"Hmph," Kogoro said, and refolded his arms across his chest.

Shinichi rubbed his head in relief and pretended to be very interested in the opposite end of the cell.

A sullen silence fell once again.

"What are your intentions?" Kogoro said presently. "Marriage?"

"Ack—I mean—maybe—" Shinichi stammered. "I mean—We're pretty young—I'm okay with the way it is now…"

Kogoro raised an eyebrow.

"I mean—" Shinichi stammered, turning red, "you know—friends—with—feelings…"

"It's been like fifteen years now, hasn't it?" Kogoro said dryly.

"Really?" Shinichi said, his voice rather higher in pitch. "Feels only like two at the very most…"

Kogoro made a scoffing noise and turned back to face front.

Shinichi exhaled deeply and hung his head, his cheeks a brilliant red color . _Get me outta here…_


	10. Kaito and Aoko in Jail

_**Sorry for the lack of updates—college keeps me busy :) I have a lot of 'prison sequences' still to go: I've begun a Kaito-Saguru, Saguru-Shinichi, a Heiji-Sonoko (which I'm excited for, even though it might seem random) and a Ran-Kazuha (my attempt to pass the Bechdel Test with Detective Conan!). Plus people have requested a Gin-Conan (you're very patient, thank you!) and a Conan-Ai (though, them both being seven years old, how that one's going to make sense I don't know—so it probably won't. But making sense is overrated, right?). Hopefully I'll crank some out over winter break. Thanks for all the reviews and support, everyone! These are fun to write, and I really appreciate the feedback!**_

Kuroba Kaito and Nakamori Aoko in Jail

"Hey! Hey, get your hands off me!" A teenage girl struggled against the grips of two police officers. "I'm Nakamori Ginzo's daughter! I'm Aoko! You can't arrest me!"

The officer on the girl's right eyed her sharply, taking in dark blue eyes, a puckish, indignant face, and brown hair looped back in a twist far too elegant for her street clothes. "I've seen pictures of Nakamori-keibu's daughter," he said gruffly. "Girl's a mop top. Your hair's too pretty to be her."

Someone behind them snickered. Aoko twisted around to glare at a teenage boy also being escorted by two police officers down the hallway of the jail. "I _told_ you not to fix my hair, you _idiot_! I _am_ Nakamori Aoko! I am, I am!"

One of the officers opened a cell, into which the teenage boy walked placidly, hands in pockets. "Thanks," he said pleasantly to the officer holding the door.

Aoko came less willingly. "My father will hear about this!" she yelled as an officer shoved her in as gently as possible. "I'm Nakamori-keibu's daughter!"  
"Yeah," smirked an officer. "And I bet your friend there's the Kaitou Kid.".

The boy found this hysterical. Aoko rounded murderously on him as the door closed firmly behind her and locked. "You!" she howled.

"What's up?" the boy asked with a chuckle, sprawling himself carelessly across the one hard bench in the cell.

"This is all your fault, Kaito!"

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?"

"Why did you have a magic show right in front of town hall?"

"In this economy, I figured they'd need some cheering up."

"Why did you try to _saw the governor's car in half?_"

Kaito shrugged. "Wanted to see if I could do it." He grinned. "It was pretty good, wasn't it?"

Aoko flushed. "That's completely beside the point!" Kaito's grin grew wider, so she stamped her foot and cried, "Couldn't you have stopped there? Why his wife as well?"

"He didn't laugh at the car part," Kaito said, his blue eyes widening innocently. "I just wanted to make him smile."

"Yeah, well he smiled when he saw you put into a police car for disturbing the peace."

Kaito twisted to lie flat on his back on the bench. "Mission accomplished, then." _But we're going to check and see if Kid can't stop by and harass him on the next heist…_

Aoko made a disgusted noise. "Ohh, you—you always drag me down with you, don't you?"

"Hey, nothing was going to happen to you today. I just needed a lovely assistant to help attract peoples' attention. Nobody stops to watch a magic show that doesn't have a lovely assistant." He grinned up at her.

Aoko froze, her fists still raised. Her cheeks reddened. "Did you just…"

"Buuuuuut—" Kaito continued loudly, putting his hands behind his head, "only you were around, so I had to make do with what I had. At least your hair looks decent now. Yikes!"

Kaito rolled off the bench, having narrowly avoided a fist to his head. "Hey, hey! Calm down! It's not my fault you're in here! Your fault you tried to get me out of the police car."

Aoko scowled and cleched her fists. "I couldn't let them arrest you!"

"Nakamori Ginzo's daughter arrested for obstruction of justice…" Kaito stood and stretched his arms over his head with a snicker.

Aoko swiped at him, but quick as a cat he darted across the cell again. "Hey, hey, calm down, you crazy—"

"You are—_so_—annoying—" Aoko shrieked, her fists hitting empty air as Kaito dodged, ducked under her arm, and came up behind her. She felt a wisp of air around her legs, then a tug on her skirt. "Oh, no you don't—"

Her protestations were cut off by a terrified shriek. She turned quickly to find Kaito on the ground, scrabbling backwards on his hands, eyes popping out of his head.

Aoko planted her fists on her hips. "Serves you right for trying to flip my—Oh! Oh, I put on my fishie panties this morning, didn't I?" *

Kaito moaned and pressed himself against the far wall of the cell. "Don't come near me with those!"

Aoko only grinned devilishly. "Nowhere to run to this time, Kaito!"

"Stop! Aoko-_sama… _Ew, uck, stop it, stop! That's so—ahhh! AHHHH!"

…

"…We failed to stop the Kaitou Kid two nights ago, Hakuba-kun, but the boys managed to get a recording of his voice."

"Excellent, officer," Hakuba Saguru said briskly. "Let me hear it now, please."

"_Hai_." The officer withdrew a tape recorder from the pocket of his uniform and pressed the play button—

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Hakuba's and the officer's heads snapped up. "That wasn't the recording," the officer stammered. "Where—"

Hakuba had already muttered something in English and took off through the police station. "It's coming from the jail wing," he called over his shoulder.

The door to Cell 76 was already flung open, and two officers were staring into the cell, apparently dumbfounded. Hakuba ran up to them and looked inside—

Nakamori Aoko, the chief inspector's daughter, stood in the center of the cell, smiling too Kuroba-esquely to be as innocent as she was attempting to appear. Behind her, Kuroba Kaito himself was curled up underneath the bench of the cell, murmuring something about the "F-word."

Hakuba sighed. "Nakamori-chan, you didn't—"

"I did," she said defiantly.

"Uurgh…" Kaito moaned.

"Not the—"

"He deserved it," Aoko insisted.

With a resigned air, Hakuba turned to the utterly bewildered officers. "Kuroba-kun is fine," he assured them, unable to help but send a half-smirk in Kuroba's direction. "It's just that Nakamori-chan is wearing her fishie panties."

The officers exchanged pop-eyed glances. "O-oh…"

From under the prison bench, Kaito whimpered.

…

*_If you haven't read Magic Kaito: Kaito has a gripping fear of fish. Aoko has fish-print underwear -.-_


	11. Kaito and Saguru in Jail

_**This probably isn't what you're expecting…it's not what I expected either. I just tried to imagine Kaito and Saguru in jail together, and then all of a sudden Kaito quoted Hamlet and then they were off on a Shakespeare debate. So I would apologize to anyone who hasn't read Hamlet or Julius Caesar—except that there's no excuse for not having read Hamlet and Julius Caesar! Get off and go read a real book! :) **_

Kuroba Kaito and Hakuba Saguru in Jail for a Night:

A Case Study in Madness

_11:01:29 pm:_

The key turned in the lock.

"Well, this is ironic."

"No," said Kuroba Kaito, peering closely at the bars on the cell door. He rapped one experimentally with his knuckles. "Definitely reinforced steel."

"I said 'ironic,'" snapped Hakuba Saguru, standing behind him with his arms crossed.

"And I said 'reinforced steel,'" Kaito shot back, giving Saguru an exasperated glance over his shoulder. "I'm almost positive."

Saguru stared rather wildly at Kaito. He grinned back.

"What?"

…

_11:05:45 pm:_

"You can't talk your way out of this one," Saguru tried again, crossing his arms.

"Nope," Kaito said, rubbing his stomach unconcernedly. "They'll let us out with the key. In a few hours, probably, once they straighten everything out and realize that we didn't do anything wrong."

"But we did!" Saguru snapped. "I mean _you_ did! You're the Kaitou Kid!"

"Whaaat?" Kaito said bemusedly, his eyes widening. "You think I'm the Kaitou Kid?"

"Oh, shut up."

…

_11:14:12 pm_

A rustling sound caused Saguru to glance, with some reservation, at his cell-mate. Kaito had produced three brightly-colored balls from somewhere on his person, and promptly set to juggling them.

"Hey, check this out, Hakuba!" he grinned. "Can you do this?"

"Where'd you get those?" Saguru said, bemused.

"Balls?" Kaito repeated, looking confused as well. "You don't have balls?"

"No," said Saguru.

"No?" Kaito said with affected surprise, staring at Saguru as he continued to juggle. "You don't have balls?" A slow smile spread across his face. "Oh."

"Juggling balls!" Saguru snapped, his face red.

Kaito burst out laughing.

…

_11:45:00 pm:_

Saguru sat hunched in the corner of the cell, his jacket collar turned up around his cheeks, his elbows on his knees, his chin resting on his folded hands, and his eyes closed.

Kaito stood in the center of the cell, still juggling serenely.

Saguru closed his eyes tighter and squeezed the bridge of his nose with one hand. "There must be a way out of this…"

"Hm?" Kaito looked up. "You say something, Hakuba-kun?"

Saguru dropped his chin on his hands again. "No."

Kaito shrugged. "Okay," he grinned, and continued to juggle.

…

_12:57:05 am:_

"Would you stop that?"

"What?" Kaito said, his eyes wide.

"Juggling!" Saguru bit out.

"Oh…" Kaito said. "If it was bothering you, you should have said so!"

"Oh, stop acting so sweet and innocent," Saguru snapped. He rose to his feet and gave Kaito a disparaging smirk. "You're not fooling anyone. In fact, it only makes you seem more culpable, because everyone knows what a smartass you really are."

"_I'm_ the smartass!" Kaito repeated, incensed. He crossed his arms—the juggling balls having vanished into his shirtsleeves—and scoffed. "Look who's talking! You're the one who used to go around in a Sherlock Holmes get-up; _you're_ the one who blusters about how you're going to capture the Kid—which we're all still waiting on, by the way—and you say _I'm_ a smartass?" He dropped into an exaggerated fighting position and waved his hands in front of his face. "Nay, an thou'lt mouth, I'll rant as well as thou!"

Saguru paused, surprised. "Did you just quote Hamlet?"

"Yeah, I love Hamlet," Kaito grinned. He straightened and put his hands behind his head. "A young genius feigns madness to investigate his father's untimely death—what a great story! It'd make a great modern-day manga, don't you think?"

"Hm," Saguru rubbed his chin. "I do like Hamlet…but the eponymous character thwarts his own investigation because of his inconsiderate pride, and ends up gravely wounding all his loved ones as well as himself in his search for justice."

Kaito's smile grew wider. "He should have been more decisive, then, and not looked back."

"Or perhaps he should have told Ophelia his plan, so she would have known better than to assist her father in capturing him," Saguru retorted. "Or perhaps informed his friend and rival Laertes of his true intentions, who opposed Hamlet to defend his pride and uphold the state judiciary system."

Kaito crossed his arms, still grinning inscrutably. "Not a bad interpretation. What's your favorite Shakespeare, then?"

"Julius Caesar," Saguru replied promptly.

Kaito snapped to attention and raised his fist. "Friends! Romans! Countrymen!" he soliloquized. "Lend me your ears!"

Saguru rolled his eyes. "That's the line everyone knows."

"I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him," Kaito continued, raising his eyebrows at Saguru. "The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones. So let it be with Caesar."

"Ah, okay, okay, very impressive," Saguru said, waving his hand.

"I could go on," Kaito smirked. "It gets better as it goes on."

"Indeed it does," said Saguru. " 'The noble Brutus hath told you Caesar was ambitious: if it were so, it was a grievous fault, and grievously hath Caesar answered it. Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest, (for _Brutus is an honorable man_; so are they all, all honorable men) come I to speak at Caesar's funeral. He was my friend, faithful and just to me: but Brutus says he was ambitious; and _Brutus is an honorable man_…'"

"Geez, what a manipulative speech," Kaito grinned.

"That's why Julius Caesar is Shakespeare's best play," Saguru said. "Shakespeare takes the time to dwell on the reasons why each of them act as they did, to the point that it's impossible to say who's 'right' and who's 'wrong.'"

"A detective, into moral ambiguity?" Kaito said, amused. "I thought detectives are always the good guys, and lawbreakers always the bad ones."

"It depends on their motivations," said Saguru. "That's why I always ask criminals why they did what they did."

"Hm," Kaito shrugged. "So you gonna ask the Kid why he steals, too?"

"Absolutely," said Saguru.

Kaito smirked and raised his eyebrows. "And what if he has a good reason?"

"'Let him come,'" quoted Saguru. "'It warms the very sickness in my heart, that I shall live and tell him to his teeth, "Thus didest thou."'"

"Hamlet again," Kaito said breezily. "You're quoting Laertes, Act 4, scene 7."

Both boys glanced at each other appraisingly. Then Kaito flashed him a wide smile, which Saguru, to his own great surprise, found himself returning.

…

_1:11:40 am:_

"See," Saguru snarled, gripping the bridge of his nose once again. He shook his head. "You always do this. Every time. You pretend to be a tolerable human being, and then you go and say something like _that._"

"Like what? All I said was that Star Wars is better than Star Trek."

"That's it exactly!" Saguru raised his eyes to glare at Kaito. "I don't know how you can say such things."

Kaito grinned. "Star Wars is great! It's the consummate epic."

"It's shallow."

"It's got Jedi! With laser swords! What more do you want?"

"Star Wars," Saguru said, "is technological fetishism crafted to appeal to the masses. Star Trek," he continued, a faraway gleam in his eye as he raised his hand expressively, "is a metaphor for life. It's philosophy in a science-fiction context."

"That's not true!" Kaito exclaimed, so passionately that Saguru jumped. Kaito's voice had changed completely; he was leaning against one wall of the cell, his right hand jammed under his left arm, an expression of agony and horror on his face. "That's impossible!" he cried.

Then quite abruptly he jumped onto the prison bench and extended his hand out to the spot where he had just stood. In a perfect imitation of Darth Vader's voice, he intoned "Search your feelings. You know it to be true!" Then he leaped back down to his original spot and, with Luke Skywalker's voice once again, cried "No! Noooo!"

Saguru sighed. "Episode five: The Empire Strikes Back."

Kaito was back on the bench. "Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son."

"Kuroba—"

"It—is—your—_destiny—_"

…

_2:29:07 am_

Kaito was _still_ juggling, and Saguru had taken to reciting Sherlock Holmes stories under his breath, at which Kaito had taken initial offense but which he soon began to ignore in favor of a more complex juggling pattern, which had kept the both of them occupied for a reasonable length of time.

At that moment, one of Kaito's balls flew out of his hands and rolled to a stop in front of Saguru.

Saguru watched it glumly, his chin on his arms. Kaito leaped over and scooped it up, then stayed in a crouch, his face awkwardly close to Saguru's.

"You look terrible."

Saguru recoiled as far as the wall would let him. "Cheers."

"Hey, hey." Kaito straightened and grinned down at him. "What's with you? You were feeling pretty touchy-feely just a few hours ago, when you jumped on top of me."

"I was pursuing the Kaitou Kid!" Saguru snapped. "And I caught him!"

"No, you caught _me_, and then we were both arrested for brawling in public."

"Same difference," Saguru snarled. "You just quick-changed."

Kaito laughed. "You're pretty funny, Hakuba-kun. Particularly when you're trying not to be." He smirked down at Saguru and stretched his arms over his head. "Why don't you get some sleep."

"Ha."

"What? You look really sleepy, Hakuba-kun. Chasing the Kaitou Kid is a real challenge, and it must be harder for some people than others—"

"Kuroba," Saguru said flatly. "Even if you _aren't_ the Kid—which I highly doubt—just the fact that you are _you_ is frightening enough to keep me awake as long as we are forced to share a cell."

Kaito shook his head sadly. "I try to be nice, Hakuba-kun, but you always rebuff me. You've hurt my feelings."

"You've hurt _my_ feelings by thinking I'd be foolish enough to fall asleep."

Kaito cackled. "Eh, I guess you've got a point. I forgive you then." He resumed juggling.

…

_3:42:22 am_

"Hey, Hakuba."

Saguru looked up. "Yes?"  
Even in the semi-darkness of the cell, Kaito's grin was as bright as the Cheshire Cat's.

"I bet you can speak Klingon, can't you?"

Saguru felt heat rise in his cheeks. "I happened to pick up some of the language, yes."

"Wow."

"I didn't _study_ it, per se, I just—"

"Wow."

Saguru fell silent with a scowl.

"I bet you can speak Elvish, too, can't you?"

"'Elvish' isn't a language," Saguru said irritably. "Saying that one can speak 'Elvish' is like saying that one can speak 'Asian.' It's a branch of languages. The main two are Quenya, or High Elvish, and Sindarin, or Common Elvish."

"…Aaaaand you can speak them, can't you?"

"A little bit. I'm more proficient in Sindarin than Quenya."

Kaito whistled. "Wow."

…

_5:00:00 am_

Saguru stood up. His knees popped loudly and he flinched—but Kaito, sprawled out on the cell bench with his eyes closed, did not move.

Saguru exhaled slowly. Out the one small window, a faint greyish line had appeared over the horizon. It was approximately half an hour until dawn, he estimated.

He turned his gaze back to Kaito and frowned. Kaito's eyes were closed, and his chest rose and fell evenly. But Saguru hesitated a moment longer.

At exactly 5:00 and thirty point five seconds, he took a careful step across the cell, then another. He peered down at Kaito through the semi-darkness, stretched a hand towards him—and then pulled back. He turned away.

"What are you doing, Hakuba-kun?"

Saguru jumped and whipped around. Kaito's eyes were still closed, his hands still behind his head, but now a smile had appeared on his face.

"I was going to search you for tonight's jewel," Saguru said stiffly. "But I realized that, in order to pass the police examination, you must have swallowed it. Which means that at the end of your next digestive cycle you're going to be spending a painful few hours on the john, aren't you?"

Kaito winced and opened one eye. "Why would you say something like that while I'm trying to sleep?"

Saguru shrugged and sat back down in his corner. "It's the only logical explanation."

"How did I get my juggling balls in here, then?"  
"They're foam," Saguru said. "I noticed when you let one roll past me before. That means you can squish them—probably small enough to hide between your fingers. Hiding a diamond with a two and a half-centimeter diameter, however, is rather more difficult. I've been watching you ever since the heist, and the only way you could have hidden it is if you swallowed it."

Kaito scowled. "Or I just didn't have the diamond to begin with, idiot."

"That is not a logical explanation."

"You and your logical explanations."

Saguru closed his eyes and did not respond.

Kaito glared at him a moment longer, then sighed and grimaced at the ceiling.

…

_5:41:21 am_

Kaito leaped lightly off the bench and landed in a noiseless crouch. The cell was still dark, but a faint pinkish light now filtered through the tiny barred window.

Even in this semi-darkness, however, it was evident that Saguru's eyes were very, very closed.

Kaito cackled to himself and crept over to stand before Saguru. A truly evil grin broke out on his face as he raised his hands—

Then he paused. His grin faded slightly as he took a closer look at Saguru's pale face.

Kaito sighed. "You've been right about everything tonight, haven't you?" he whispered, his eyes on Saguru's standoffishly upturned collar and the deep bags beneath his eyes. "You caught the Kaitou Kid…even put him in jail, so to speak—you guessed where the gem is." Kaito patted his stomach with a slightly pained expression. "And you were completely honest about everything, from your favorite Shakespeare to just how dorky you are."

He turned around, crossed the cell, and laid back down on the prison bench.

"When I'm crapping out this gem I won't feel nearly this magnanimous, but…I'll let you off lightly this time, detective."

…

_6:33:13 am_

Saguru awoke with an unpleasant jolt and immediately leaped to his feet. His stiff joints popped in protest and he staggered into the wall behind him with a grunt.

Kaito, still on the bench, opened his eyes. "Morning."

"Was I asleep?" Saguru said, rather wildly. He cleared his throat and straightened his jacket. "Was I—"

"Yeah, I think you were sleeping," Kaito said easily, stretching his arms over his head. "Well, you were snoring at least."

Saguru stared at him, his eyes wide.

"Oh, come off it," Kaito sighed. "You weren't snoring. Geez, you're so prickly."

Saguru immediately started patting his chest and emptying his pockets. "What did you do?"

"Hmmmm?" Kaito put his arms behind his head. "What're you doing?"

"Looking for the prank you pulled on me while I was asleep."

"Hakuba-kun, I'm insulted—"

"Don't start with me," Saguru snapped, now feeling his face and hair.

"Geez," Kaito grumbled. "Someone hasn't had his caffeine this morning, huh?"

Halfway through emptying his shoes, Saguru froze. He looked up and fixed Kaito with such an intent stare that the other boy raised his eyebrows.

"What? It's true, isn't it? I'd peg you as a tea drinker. Earl Grey, am I right?"

"Perhaps you didn't actually pull a prank on me," Saguru said slowly. He pulled his shoes back on and stood up again.

"Tch." Kaito looked back up at the ceiling and crossed his legs. "Maybe."

"Hm." Saguru put his hands in his pockets and smirked. "What you really wanted was for me to go crazy looking for the nonexistent prank."

Kaito almost fell off the bench. "Uh…That's not quite what I had in mind…"

Saguru sat back down, a pert smile on his face. "If you have done something, I'll find it. And if you haven't, I won't concern myself with looking for it."

"Suit yourself," Kaito snapped. "Paranoid moron." He refolded his hands behind his head and muttered, "Last time I do you any favors."

"Excuse me?"

"Just muttering under my breath about you."

"Ah."

…

_7:53:21 am_

The last approximate hour and a half had been spent in near-entire glowering silence, punctuated only by loud growls from both boys' stomachs.

Saguru had taken out his pocket watch and laid it before him. He was now sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest, his arms folded across his knees, and his head on his arms, his eyes fixed on the watch.

Kaito had tried to resume juggling, but a combination of hunger, a stiff back from sleeping on the hard bench, and a severe stomach pain had caused him to quickly lose patience. At 7:21:54 am he had thrown himself back on the bench with an irate scowl and was now lying on his back, staring at the blue sky visible through the tiny window just as intently as Saguru did his pocket watch.

They hardly moved, except for occasional rustlings from Saguru, who was still surreptitiously looking for signs of a prank.

They did not speak.

_8:00:00 am_

Saguru leaped to his feet.

"Officer!" he shouted through the bars of the cell. "Officer! It is now eight am—visiting hours have resumed. I'd like to speak to the officer in charge, please!"

Kaito, who'd been dozing on the bench, sat up. "What's the hurry, Hakuba-kun?"  
Saguru ignored him. "Officer! It's past eight am. Why haven't normal working hours recommenced?"

Kaito rolled his eyes.

A groggy-looking police officer shuffled into view outside their cell. "The day crew's not here yet."

"But it's eight-oh one and fifty-five seconds!" Saguru protested.

The officer stared at him.

"Don't mind him, officer," Kaito snapped from the bench. "He's crazy."

Saguru ignored him. "Excuse me, officer—"

"Excuse me!" This was an elderly female voice, coming from the lobby to the police station. "I'm here to pick up District General Hakuba's son."

Kaito, Saguru, and the officer outside their cell all fell silent. From the lobby, the low mutter of another officer could be heard, and then—

"But it is past eight am. Normal hours have resumed. I am here for District General Hakuba's son. What is the problem?"

Kaito and Saguru exchanged glances. Saguru smirked.

"That's my housekeeper."

Kaito shook his head. "Figures.

…

_8:14:12 am_

An officer unlocked the door to Kaito and Saguru's cell and opened it. "You're all set to go, boys. Hakuba-kun, your housekeeper's waiting for you in the parking lot."

"Thank you," Saguru said, relief evident on his pale, sleepy face. He looked over his shoulder at Kaito, who yawned.

"Let's get a move on, I'm tired," he groused.

"Kuroba," Saguru said. He extended a hand, a half-wry, half-pained smile on his face. "It's been edifying."

Mid-yawn, Kaito froze. He raised his eyebrows at the proffered hand. "Yeah, you could say that," he snickered. He glanced suspiciously at Saguru's hand before clasping it briefly. Then he turned around with a grin and a wave. "See you, Laertes."

"I'm not Laertes," Saguru said. He strode out of the cell after him, his hands in his pockets and his head inclined. He lifted his eyes to smirk at Kaito. "I'm Marc Antony. And you're Brutus."

"Fine by me," Kaito whipped around and grinned, raising his hands. "But," he continued, walking backwards to continue facing Saguru, "Antony didn't capture Brutus until Brutus had already succeeded in killing Caesar. Brutus was the hero, and Antony was just there to package everything into some semblance of law, and stamp the name of 'justice' over all the dead bodies." He turned back around and strode lightly out of the police station.

Saguru followed him, his shoulders still hunched ponderously. He reached the door of the station and put a hand on the door knob—then sighed.

"Touché, Hamlet."

He opened the door.

There on the street, the motor still running, was his housekeeper's car. And sitting in the passenger seat—

"Hey, Hakuba-kun!" Kaito waved. "Could you give me a ride home? It's on the way."

"I don't think—"

"I don't mind, Sa-chan," his housekeeper said with a smile.

"But Nanna—"

"If I'm bothering you, then I can walk," Kaito said, his eyes wide as he looked from Saguru to the housekeeper. "It's just that—" he rubbed his stomach gingerly. "—I don't think prison food agreed with me."

"That's all right, dear, we'll drive you home."

Saguru gripped the bridge of his nose. Then, slowly, without looking at Kaito, he got into the back seat.

"Thanks, obaasan!" Kaito said as they pulled out of the police station. "Hey, obaasan, do you like juggling?"

"Why, yes—"

"I don't think you should juggle in the car, Kuroba-kun—"

"No, it's fine; I'm really good. Check this out!"

Saguru pressed his face into his hands. "Every time…"

….

….

_**A/N: I said I couldn't update until after finals…looks like my procrastination disagreed with me. In any case, I hope you like Hakuba, because next up is Saguru and Shinichi in jail! But that'll definitely have to wait until winter break, because it's going to require some Sherlock Holmes research._

_Please remember to review! I love reading your input! **_


	12. Shinichi and Saguru in Jail

Kudou Shinichi and Hakuba Saguru in Jail

Kudou Shinichi was having a rare moment. He wasn't understanding.

They had failed to realize that he was _the _Kudou Shinichi, the genius high school detective.

They had been utterly undeterred by his relentless stream of logic all throughout the car ride to the police station.

They had marched inside and thrust him in a cell before he could reiterate his innocence.

And now, as the door clanged shut with sickening finality behind him, he found himself staring into a face whose expression matched his to a nuance, although the features could not have been more different.

Hakuba Saguru was dumbfounded, not simply because he was currently in jail. He too was wholly stupefied that logic and deduction had not saved him from it.

Kudou and Hakuba stared at each other. Hakuba, half-British by blood, was taller and broader of shoulder, with longish blonde hair and honey-colored eyes. Kudou was thinner of face and figure with black hair, blue eyes, a runner's physique, and a stubborn, pointed nose.

Both boys grappled silently with their dignity. Shoulders were squared, eyes narrowed, eyebrows raised, uncertain smirks flashed. "How'd _you _get here?"

Saguru frowned. "This is a mistake."

Shinichi gave a half-smile, beginning to pace. "This is ridiculous."

Both boys shot each other edgy glances again, then quickly looked away when they caught each other's eye. They turned their backs awkwardly and neither witnessed the other rubbing his chin in exactly the same manner.

They both turned again and eyed each other.

"Hakuba Saguru?" Shinichi said finally.

"Quite," Saguru inclined his head. "Kudou Shinichi, I presume? I know you from the papers. I'm flattered you know me, as well."

"Yeah," Shinichi said awkwardly, rubbing his head. "You're in there about Kaitou Kid articles a lot." He glanced away and grimaced. He had met Hakuba as Conan, but Hakuba was not to know the connection.*

"You seem to have taken an interest in the Kaitou Kid yourself," Saguru said. Something in his tone caused Shinichi to look around. Saguru had an odd, tight smile on his face. He arched an eyebrow.

Shinichi shrugged. "Yeah, I've been on a few cases."

"Ah," Saguru said lightly. "Well, I appreciate your assistance during the heists that I could not attend, given that I have been in England for the past few months. However, now that I have decided to take up residence in Japan once more, my capture of the Kaitou Kid is imminent."

"Ah…" Shinichi turned his head away so Saguru couldn't see him rolling his eyes. Then he turned back and gave Saguru a sharp smile. "It'll be interesting to see who brings down the Kaitou Kid first."

Saguru cocked an eyebrow. "Indeed."

Shinichi put his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall without responding.

After a brief silence, Saguru spoke again. "Were you on a case? During your arrest, I mean. Which I assume is a mistake."

"Yeah," Shinichi said darkly. "It was a mistake, all right." He glared through the bars at the police officer at the desk down the hall.

"I as well," Saguru said. He moved to sit down on the cell's bench, then paused, frowned, and ran a finger across it. His gloved fingertip came up gray and smudged. With a grimace, he stepped away and tugged a bit convulsively at his already-impeccable brown blazer. "I can't believe this."

Shinichi raised an eyebrow at the bench, then shot a deprecating smirk at Saguru.

Saguru noticed nothing. "But as I was saying, I was investigating a case for Miss Masugura Mei," he said with another tug on his blazer. "But apparently, the police in this bucolic hamlet are so starved for excitement that they felt the need to arrest me merely because I was present at the crime scene and not in some way related to everyone else in town."

"Masugura?" Shinichi repeated. "I was hired by her father, Masugura Taichi."

"Really?" Saguru said. "About their butler's recent behavior?"

"The Masuguras found him going through their family papers," Shinichi nodded. He rubbed his chin. "It's strange that Mr. Masugura didn't mention that his elder daughter had also hired a detective."

"Miss Masugura didn't mention her father's requisition, either," mused Saguru. "The Masuguras are an old family, are they not? Descended of a noble house of feudal Japan."

"Yeah." Shinichi chuckled. "Reminds me of a Sherlock Holmes case, if you take the daughters out of the picture."

"'The Musgrave Ritual,'" Saguru nodded. " I was thinking the same thing myself."

Shinichi looked around at him. "Yeah! Are you a Holmes fan, too?"

Saguru gave a dry chuckle. "I used to wear an Inverness coat and deerstalker cap wherever I went," he said, slightly defensively.

"Then you must agree that Doyle is the master of the crime fiction genre!"

"Naturally," said Saguru. "Who could challenge him? Ellery Queen?" He gave a derisive snort.

"I told Hattori that, but he doesn't listen!" Shinichi crowed. "I've read every Ellery Queen novel twice, and every Sherlock Holmes story at least ten times."

Saguru nodded in agreement. "I'm certain I could recite all fifty-six stories to you right now, if you so desired."

"Amazing!" Shinichi grinned. "Me too! And the four novels!"

"Naturally," Saguru agreed. He looked mildly surprised, and a smile that was almost shy slipped across his face. "My favorite of them was 'The Sign of Four.'"

Shinichi looked as if he might hug him.**

…

"So if we've read the facts right—"

"—And we have, no doubt of it—"

"—Then the butler must have deduced something from those papers that generations of Masuguras have failed to realize—"

"If we could just get our hands on those papers—"

"If we weren't in jail—!"

Just then a policeman walked past their cell. Both boys lurched forward and threw themselves against the bars.

"Officer!"

The policeman jumped and stared at them. "What?"

"Have there been any updates on the case?" Shinichi asked.

The policeman eyed them suspiciously, one hand still clamped to his heart. "Yes, actually," he said. "The butler has been located. He was spending the night with Masagura Riza, the younger daughter." The officer shook his head disapprovingly. "Oh, and Mr. Masugura was found dead just a few hours ago."

Both boys gasped.

"Dead?"

"Under what circumstances?" Saguru demanded.

"It's still unclear," the policeman said irritably, walking away from them.

"But surely you found some sort of evidence? A curious presence at the crime scene?"  
"Yeah," said the policeman with a wave of his hand. "He was apparently chewing on a fountain pen when he died."

He disappeared around the corner. Shinichi and Saguru leaned back from the bars and stared at each other.

"Our Lord Musgrave is dead," Shinichi said. "The butler wasn't on to any secret family histories—he was sleeping with the daughter. This isn't like 'The Musgrave Ritual' at all. And a chewed-up fountain pen…"

"Which means," said Saguru slowly, "that unlike in 'The Musgrave Ritual,' the butler is innocent of any wrongdoing. In fact, this case is almost exactly similar to—"

"The Ellery Queen case of the Dragon's Teeth," Shinichi said slowly. He let out a quick laugh. "I can't believe it."

Saguru steepled his fingers under his chin, but his eyes were bright. "Rich man dead…two beautiful daughters who stand to inherit…Kudou-kun—"

"Hakuba," Shinichi began to grin. "Just because it seems like a fictional story doesn't mean it's exactly similar…but am I wrong in deducing—"

"Not unless I am wrong as well," Saguru placed a fist in his other palm. "Now all we have to do is—"

"Oi!" Shinichi shouted down the cell ward. "Officer! Let us out! We know who the murderer is!"

The telephone at the station's front desk rang at that moment. The officer looked pleased at the excuse to ignore Shinichi and Saguru.

"Hello?"

"Officer," Shinichi said in a low but carrying voice. "If I've deduced correctly, that phone call is to inform you that Mr. Masagura's butler has been murdered as well. If you don't let us out, then more people may die."

The officer covered his free ear with his hand, still listening to the phone.

"The Masagura sisters may look beautiful and innocent," Shinichi continued, "but they've got a secret to hide. We—" he indicated Saguru— "spent the day with them. And the evidence is right in front of your eyes!"

"Got it," the officer said into the phone. "See you in a minute, sir."

He hung up the phone and smirked at the boys in the jail cell. "The butler did it."

"What?"

"Didn't think I'd ever get to say that," the officer said giddily. "The butler did it! What a cliché!"

"The butler is alive?" Saguru said hoarsely.

The door to the police station banged open, and a familiar –looking man wearing an inspector's uniform with a wide forehead and a weak chin bustled in.

"What a case!" the man crowed to the officer at a desk. "But of course, a simple matter for an inspector as well-read as me!"

"Inspector Yamamura!" Shinichi gasped

Yamamura Misao looked down the hall. "Kudou-kun! What are you doing here?"

"They arrested us for investigating!" Shinichi exploded, banging a fist into the bars, Saguru glowering ominously at his shoulder.

"Oh dear!" Yamamura gasped. "Officer, get these boys out right away!"

"Let me just find the keys, sir," the officer said, less than eagerly.

"Just a moment, Inspector," said Saguru. "What do you mean, 'the butler did it'?"

"Just what I said!" Yamamura said cheerfully. He puffed out his chest. "It wasn't too hard to figure out."

"Then that means—the case is closed?" said Shinichi.

"Absolutely, the case is closed," Yamamura said giddily. "He has made a full confession."

Shinichi looked stupefied. Saguru cleared his throat.

"I believe congratulations are in order, Inspector," he said, not without a note of tension in his voice.

"Yes!" said Yamamura, who noticed nothing. "I can't believe it! This is the first time I've solved a case fully conscious! But it was quite simple, really, once I realized that this case was almost exactly identical to one of my favorite Nancy Drew cases!"

Shinichi and Saguru exchanged looks of horror.

"Nancy Drew?"

"Yeah!" beamed Yamamura. "She's my favorite detective."

Shinichi looked torn between scornful amusement and horrified outrage. Saguru turned white and sat down on the cell bench.

"Well, I'll get you boys out in a jiffy," said Yamamura. "Real sorry about the trouble. Won't even go on your records." He winked heartily at them and sauntered off.

Shinichi remained where he was by the bars, staring after him. Behind him, Saguru had dropped his head to his hands.

As the desk officer finally appeared at the door with the cell key in his hand, Shinichi looked around and Saguru looked up; their eyes met, and by the expressions on their faces, both boys knew that this particular case was never to be spoken of again.

…

…

_*Conan and Saguru met twice: in the Twilight Mansion case and at the Detective Koshien. _

_**'The Sign of Four' is Shinichi's favorite too, as revealed in "The Holmes Freak Murder Case," Volumes 12-13. In that case, Heiji also reveals that he prefers Ellery Queen to Sherlock Holmes._

_***Just in case anyone's interested, the name 'Masagura' is a partial transliteration of 'Musgrave.' The first names are from some of my favorite anime: Avatar the Last Airbender, Digimon Adventure, and Fullmetal Alchemist. No offense meant to Mai, Tai and Riza :)_

_A/N:_

_Looong hiatus—sorry, everyone! Next is Conan and Gin in jail, for the ever-patient peltra! Thanks for reading!_


	13. Conan and Gin in Jail

Conan and Gin in Jail

_Really_, Conan fumed. _Who in their right mind arrests a seven-year-old?_

He was seated in the corner of a crowded public jail cell, his bony little second-grader knees drawn up to his chest and a furious scowl on his round pale face. His approximately twenty cell-mates pretended not to see him. Occasionally, one or two would throw him confused, disgruntled glares. Conan ignored them.

He supposed this whole thing could be construed as his fault. Two hours ago, when he had been eating lunch at a sidewalk café with Ran and Kogoro and had realized that a murder as imminent, he hadn't exactly been subtle about it. In fact, Conan considered, upon reflection he may have grossly mishandled the situation. The subsequent panic that had seized the other patrons and pedestrians had probably cost thousands of dollars of property damage to the café, the sidewalk, and the vehicles parked alongside it. Police had rushed to the scene, and in the rush to arrest the rioters they had swept up one rather unusual young boy.

Conan sighed.

Surely, someone would soon rush in and demand that the police release a seven-year-old from prison. Surely Ran would be there any moment. Surely someone was coming for him.

So it was with hope that Conan looked up when he heard the clank of a key in a lock and then the swing of the opening cell door. He lifted his chin from his knees and peered through the sea of legs.

Perhaps it would be Ran, in the short skirt she had been wearing that the seventeen-year-old in his second-grader body still quite enjoyed. But the pair of legs walking into the cell were trousered and, Conan deduced, decidedly male.

It couldn't be Inspector Megure; the legs were too long and thin, and Megure would have stopped at the door instead of walking into the cell. Conan briefly considered Heiji but then dismissed the thought; he would have heard Hattori coming long before he reached the door.

He needed more evidence. Conan pushed forward from the wall and crawled forward to keep the new, trousered legs in view. Then a few of the cell's other occupants shifted to give the newcomer more space, and he found himself looking up into the trousered man's face.

Conan's first coherent thought was _Oh, no._

His second was, _I am probably going to die today._

Gin—_Gin_—stood not three meters away from him, his hands in the pockets of his long black overcoat, his expression cold and bored as he surveyed his new cellmates. _Gin._

The third thought that crossed Conan's mind was the realization that Gin's roving eyes were making their way across their other cellmates' faces and would soon be fixed on his own.

He threw himself back against the wall, behind another man's legs.

_Gotta hide._

Everything he knew of geometry rushed to the forefront of Conan's mind: angles, trajectories, lines of sight—If he calculated it right, he could stay in Gin's blind spot and never be seen.

The man in front of Conan shot him an irritated glance and began to move away. Conan stood in the open, frantic thoughts and calculations rushing through his head. He opened and closed his hands, thinking:

Gin would be turning back this way in less than two seconds—_ What is Gin doing in jail? And in a common station house jail like this? _(I'm going to die and I've never told Ran the truth; I've never even _kissed_ her—)

As Gin's eyes raked the cell's far corner Conan ducked behind a group of three men playing cards together on the cell floor. _What was Gin doing that he was arrested? Couldn't be something worse than petty theft, if they've put him in here with us—_ (Conan'll be dead, and Shinichi will just disappear; no one will know what happened to me; Ran will never know—She'll be so sad, all because of me—)

"Hey, kid. Buzz off." One of the card-players waved a hand at him. Gin's head turned—but Conan had already done the math and thrown himself behind the legs of another two prisoners who were crossing the cell. _Did he see me? Does he recognize me? Are they still thinking about Kudou Shinichi at all? What is he _doing _ here? _(Maybe Hattori will figure out what happened to me. Maybe he'll finish the case against the Black Org for me. Or maybe they'll kill him too. Damn it—I don't want Hattori to die. He doesn't deserve this—)

Gin started across the cell, his hands in his pockets, his eyes roving the cell. Conan peered at him through the men's legs, then slipped in between a cluster of young men standing near the barred cell door. _They must be planning something new. But I haven't heard anything from Jodie-san and the FBI. _(Those kids'll miss me too, won't they? Haibara will guess what happened, but Ayumi, Genta and Mitsuhiko—they'll never know. They'll…they'll miss me, won't they?)

Gin paused, his right shoulder leaning against the back wall of the cell. Conan pressed himself against the barred door, cowering behind a man ambling across the cell, doing trigonometry in his head. _Where's Vodka? Why isn't he with Gin? Is Kir nearby? Could…could the new agent Bourbon be nearby as well? Could they be in this cell as well?_ (I'm going to _die_ and I've never even so much as kissed Ran! Let alone—)

Conan moved left along the cell door, trying to get behind Gin, but the legs in front of him abruptly changed direction. Conan stopped short and nearly tripped over himself.

_Shit! Out in the open…_

Conan quickly turned left—and ran straight into Gin's knees.

He bounced backward , his upturned eyes fixed on Gin's face, and landed on his backside.

Gin peered down at him.

"Playing a game?"  
Conan opened his mouth, but no words came out. He stared, frozen, up at Gin's pale, hard face. _I am going to die today._

Gin's face slipped into a bored sneer. "What's a little child doing here?"

Conan blinked his wide blue eyes. "…I…I think there's been a mistake," he squeaked.

"Hm." Gin eyed him with moderate interest. Then his lips pulled downward in a frown.

"You look familiar," he said.

And Kudou Shinichi, aka Edogawa Conan, child-sized teen detective extraordinaire, did the only logical, rational thing to do.

He burst into tears.

A faint grimace of disgust played across Gin's lips. His eyes drifted away and he took a step back from the bawling second-grader on the ground before him.

A police officer stepped up to the door at just that moment, a key ring in her hand. "Mr. Melchior—a Mr. Kaspar has just posted bail for you—" She noticed Conan crying on the ground. "Oh my goodness! What's a little boy doing—"

"That would be me," Gin said over her. He stepped around Conan as the officer, still staring, fumbled with her keys and unlocked the door.

"There you are. Now if you'll accompany me to the front desk—" Gin stepped out of the cell and the officer closed the door behind him, then crouched down to peer at Conan. "Don't worry, sweetie, I'll get you out in just a moment. Be right back!"

Gin was already walking down the hall, his hands in his pockets.

Conan's tears dried instantly. He threw himself against the bars and craned his head after Gin—but without a backward glance Gin disappeared around the corner.

"Damn it!" Conan cried. He smashed his fist against the bars. "So close!"

He sagged against the bars, his face pressed into the gap between them, his heart hammering against his chest.

After what seemed like ages the officer returned. "Come on, sweetie!" she said as she unlocked the door. "Let's get you out!"

She opened the door—Conan leaped forward but she scooped him up into a hug. "Woah there!" she said, patting his head. "Don't worry—you're okay now."

"B-but…" Conan whined. He waved his arms feebly. "Let me go!"

"Let's go call your parents," the officer said serenely. "Would you like some cookies?"

"Auntie, where did that blond man go?" Conan said in his best baby voice.

"He left with his friend," the officer said cheerily. "What kind of cookies would you like?"

"Ah…" Conan gave one last feeble wiggle, but the officer's arms were unyielding. He cast one last desperate look toward the front door of the jail, then sighed.

"Butterscotch, please."

She beamed at him. "What a cute little boy! Who in their right mind would arrest a little boy like you?"

Conan didn't reply. He was afraid that if he tried he would start crying again.

…

…

**_Melchior and Kaspar are Gin and Vodka's names in the English dub._

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews, everyone! You know, I really thought I'd get some angry responses to the last one, for making Shinichi and Saguru look bad and mess up the mystery case, but most of the reviews were really positive. I guess you all just love to see how hard the proud can fall!_

_Okay, I've been trying to respond to all the reviews that come in, but to the people who asked questions but then signed their reviews as non-answerable:_

_loo shuenpi: I read DC manga on http:/www. dctp .ws/. It's a great site! For the anime I go to good old YouTube._

_TEAM AYUMI: you requested Shinichi/Heiji and Kaitou Kid/Sonoko. For the latter I already have a plan; in fact, I plan to write a fic of Sonoko in jail with each of the Gosho Boys in turn (including Hakuba…hee hee hee…) so maybe when I get the time I'll do Sonoko Week, lol. But as for Shinichi/Heiji—can you believe I never even thought about that? I have a lot of other requests I have to get to first, but there will definitely be Shinichi/Heiji in the future!_

_I'm trying to do requests in the order that people requested them, but I also have to obey the whims that pass through my mind. If I'm not 'feeling it,' then I can't write it. For example, someone requested Makoto and Eisuke early on in writing this fic…but I don't think that's going to happen simply because those characters don't appear in my head. You know? _

_Soooo I think the next one I'm going to do will be either Conan/Ai for Neko-chan, or Ran and Kazuha, for myself :) Depends on which one gets done first. But please keep sending requests! I get ideas from what you guys send me!_


	14. Conan and Ai in Jail

Edogawa Conan and Haibara Ai in Jail

"Edogawa-kun," Ai said, slowly and deliberately, enunciating every syllable, "you may be a genius, but when it comes to people you are an idiot."

Conan glowered at her. "I didn't think they'd _arrest_ us."

Ai folded her arms. "Well, well. So you don't know everything after all."

The two were seated side by side in a special holding cell of the Tokyo police station. Conan gritted his teeth irritatedly. "I heard screaming," he said adamantly. "She could have been in danger! There could have been a murder happening! How was I supposed to know that her husband had just gotten home that day from the army?"

"So you burst in to help her." Ai sighed. "And I was in the middle of a breakthrough with my research."

Conan perked up. "Really? You were?"

"Yup. A thought just came to me as we were walking along to meet up with the children…but then I indulged your hero complex, and was rather disrupted by the fact that we were being arrested for trespassing."

"Damn it!" Conan bit out. He kicked at the floor, but his legs were so short that they only swung ineffectually from where he sat on the prison bench.

Ai watched him appraisingly, one eyebrow raised. "Ayumi-chan is going to be upset that you're arrested," she said.

"Yeah," Conan said. "The three of them were looking forward to that new Yaiba movie we were all supposed to see. They're going to be mad that we ruined their day."

"But Ayumi-chan most of all," Ai said.

"You think so?" Conan frowned absently. "Genta-kun is usually the most inconsiderate of the three of them—"

"Edogawa-kun," Ai said. "Are you really unaware that Ayumi-chan has a crush on you?"

Conan looked up. "What?"

She snorted. "That's why Mitsuhiko-kun and Genta-kun are often so snippy to you," she said with a superior little smile. "They're jealous."

Conan laughed bitterly. "Jealous? Of me?"

"Yes." Ai crossed her arms. "But if you'll notice, Mitsuhiko-kun has become a little more accommodating to you in recent months. That's because he now has a crush on me, not Ayumi-chan."

Conan snickered. "That's adorable."

"Yes, I've found it to be quite useful."

"_Useful_?"

"If he's willing to fetch me things, who am I to say no?"

"Oi, oi…" Conan rolled his eyes. "You are so cold."

Ai shot him a disparaging smirk. "Cold? I—" She froze. "Cold…cold…"

Conan stared at her. "Haibara? What are you—"

Ai gasped as if a crack of lightning had just resounded in the cell.

"H-Haibara?"

Ai had slammed a hand into her chin, her eyes narrowed. "If I…the common cold's effect on the immune system…but…oh my God…"

"Haibara!" Conan cried. "Did you have a breakthrough on the cure?"

She looked over at him, her eyes slowly widening. "Paper," she said quietly.

"What?"  
"Paper!" Ai screamed. "I need paper and a pencil! RIGHT NOW!"

"Ahhh!" Conan jumped up off the bench. He began searching his pockets, his arms flailing wildly. "I think I have—here it is—my detective notebook!"

"Give me that!"

Ai seized it and flung herself onto the floor in the corner of the cell. The sound of furious scribbling was instantly audible.

Conan remained frozen where he stood, watching the back of her head. After a moment he moved closer to her and peered over her shoulder.

"Don't loom over me!" Ai snapped. "You're distracting."

"Well, what should I do?"

"You do realize that there must be security cameras in this cell?" she hissed. "How suspicious would it be if they noticed two seven-year-olds bent over some highly complex biological theory?"

Conan staggered back. "Ah!"

"Act like a child, you idiot!"

"Uh…" Conan waved his hands and waddled around the cell. "I'm an airplane, whee!"

Ai clamped her hands over her ears. "All right, all right, stop it!"

"Would you stop yelling at me?" Conan hissed. "The officers at the front desk will hear you!"

"Just sit down and shut up, then!"

Conan hoisted himself back onto the cell bench, a sullen expression on his face, as the noise of Ai's pencil resumed. He watched her glumly out of the corner of his eye.

After another moment, Ai's pencil slowed, then stopped. She looked up.

"Did you really have no idea that Ayumi-chan likes you? Even after living with them for over a year?"

"What does this have to do with your highly complex biological theories?" Conan said snarkily.

"I have a scientific interest in both lines of inquiry!" Ai snapped.

"Well, no, I didn't," Conan retorted.

"You're a detective, and you didn't notice—"

"If it had to do with a case, I'd have noticed it! But since it was unimportant, I just didn't think about it."

"You amaze me, Edogawa-kun."

"What's your 'scientific interest' in this, anyway?"

"Nothing." She turned back to her work, her short brown hair swinging down to hide her face, and fell to writing again.

The sound of Ai's pencil on the paper filled the cell once again. Conan watched her, his chin in his hands, as she muttered something about alcohol, turned the page of the notebook, and continued writing.

After a few minutes, Conan hopped off the bench and started to pace.

"I can't wait to be myself again!" he burst out, smiling happily. "I really miss Ran."

"What are you talking about," Ai snapped, still scribbling furiously. "You see her every day."

"_Conan_ sees her. Shinichi doesn't. And she doesn't see Shinichi."

Ai turned around and looked sharply at him. Conan's gaze was distant, and he had a soft smile on his round, youthful face.

Ai's brow contracted.

"You love her."

Conan jumped. "Ah…well…I mean—" He blushed. "What I mean is—"

"It's okay." Ai turned back to her work. "I get it."

The sound of her pencil persisted for a few more minutes, then died away.

"I'm stuck again."

Conan peered over her shoulder. "On what?"

"It would take too long to explain it," Ai snapped. "I've got to get back to my lab and compare this to my past notes." She sat up and placed the notebook and pencil in her purse. "That's all I have for now."

"…Well, still, it's really great that you solved that problem! At this rate, you'll get a cure in no time!"

Ai glanced at him, then looked away. "Yeah."

Conan sighed eagerly and sat back down on the bench. "I can't wait."

Ai had gone rather still. She slowly eased herself onto the bench next to him. "Me neither," she said listlessly.

Conan patted her on the shoulder. "C'mon, Haibara, aren't you excited to get your body back?"

"No," she said flatly. "I'm perfectly happy being Haibara Ai. Synthesizing a cure to APTX-4869 is a purely intellectual pursuit. I have no desire to resume my former identity."

"Geez." Conan rolled his eyes. "You always have to be so cool. Well, won't it be nice to have me stop bothering you about the cure? Once I return to normal I'll stop hanging over your shoulder. You won't have to put up with me anymore."

Ai sighed. "Edogawa-kun...when it comes to people…"

"What?"

"Never mind."

…

…

_A/N: Poor Haibara! I hope this isn't a stretch. I think it's fairly clear from the manga that Ai has feelings for Conan. But in the end I think it'll be Ai/Mitsuhiko (or Ai/Saguru!)._

_Trying to think of semi-reasonable explanations for why the characters are in jail is the hardest part. But the 'why' isn't really the point, right? The funny part is how they act once they're already in jail. Hopefully. Let's just please ignore the fact that the Tokyo police probably know Conan too well to ever arrest him. I mean, we're talking about two grade-schoolers in jail! This was a request for Neko-chan, by the way :)_

_With the posting of the last chapter I hit over 50 reviews! This is a record for me. I'm excited! Thanks so much for all the support, everyone!_


	15. Kaito and Snake in Jail

_Oh geez…Shadowgin asked for Kaito and Snake in jail…so here it is…Warning: this is NOT FUNNY! Massive amounts of angst ahead!_

Kuroba Kaito and Snake in Jail

Kaito couldn't believe the police had put them in the same cell.

"I'm going to kill you," he said.

The mustachioed man also occupying the jail cell didn't respond.

"I mean it," said Kaito. He stood jacketless in the center of the cell, in white pants and a blue collared shirt, his red tie askew and his hair soaked with sweat. He was grinning. "I wasn't going to, you know. Not even for killing my father. I wasn't going to sink to your level. But now—"

"I can't believe it," the other man said. He was much older, dressed in rumpled slacks and a white collared shirt, and sat on the prison bench, his head in his hands, his eyes fixed on the ground. "I can't believe you destroyed Pandora."

"Immortality," Kaito bit out. He laughed. "What good is that?"

"What would you know?" the other man snapped. A glimmer of emotion crossed his blank face. "You're just a kid. You don't understand about death—"

Kaito froze in the center of the cell. Slowly, he raised his head, and looked Snake full in the eyes. "Don't I?" he said quietly.

There was blood on his blue shirtsleeves and collar.

"Don't I, Snake?"

Snake regarded him levelly.

"Did you know her?"

"Did I—? Did I know her…" Something in Kaito seemed to deflate.

"Yes," he said. "I knew her." He lowered his head.

"Tch." Snake dropped his chin to his hands. He shot Kaito a disgusted look.

Outside the cell, they could both hear the murmur of the police officers talking in low voices. An ambulance siren wailed in the city streets beyond. Kaito could hear his blood pounding in his ears.

"…Why didn't you kill me?" Kaito asked.

"What?"  
Kaito looked up. "Why didn't you kill me?" He clenched his fist, his eyes raised and blazing at Snake. "Why did you shoot her? Why not me?"

"Because you were holding Pandora," Snake snapped. "You were holding Pandora and standing on the edge of the roof, you fool. If you died it would have fallen off the building and shattered on the street below. I was just gonna shoot people in the crowd until you handed it over. Too bad for both of us you actually cared about the first one I hit, huh?"

Kaito's arms began to shake, but then he let them fall limply to his sides. He closed his eyes.

"Random. God. It was random." Slowly, his fists unclenched. "You're not very smart, are you?"

"_I'm_ not?" Snake snorted mirthlessly. "You're the one that got us both arrested. We could both have escaped if you'd kept your head—"

"Keep my head?" Kaito said quietly. "Kept my head?"

"Yeah," Snake grunted. "Poker Face. Isn't that what Toichi was always blabbing about? Keeping cool in rough situations? Guess you're not quite as good as your old man was. And even he ended up with my knife in his back, didn't he?"

Kaito shot him a cold glare. Slowly, one of his eyebrows cocked. "Are you trying to make me mad? Because there's nothing else you can do to me, Snake." He shook his head, and the ghost of a cocky smile appeared on his thin lips. "Nothing."

Snake's face remained expressionless. "You only have yourself to blame—"

"What the hell do you mean by that?" His voice cracked slightly as he said it.

"You destroyed Pandora," Snake said. Another flicker of pain flashed across his deadened face. "I killed her the first time, but when you destroyed Pandora, you killed her again."

"Like you care!" Kaito shouted. He swallowed hard and continued, "Like you care. What do you know about—about—You don't care about anyone, do you?"

"No," Snake said flatly. "I don't." He sat up and put his hands on his knees. "Attachments are a liability in this world, boy. Haven't you figured that out yet? Did you really think you could spend your nights jumping off skyscrapers and still land perfectly safely each time?" He stroked his mustache forlornly. "If you want to blame it on me, then you could say I did you a favor. Now all you have to do is escape this dive and you'll be all but unstoppable."

Kaito was shaking. Sweat dripped down his forehead and chest, mingling with the blood turning brown on his blue shirt. He didn't speak.

"I'm gonna escape too, you know," Snake continued, and for the first time a lilt of amusement, almost manic in its brightness, came into his face. "Yeah. So I guess the real story begins when we get out, doesn't it? Who can kill who…first."

The sound of the door unlocking saved Kaito from answering. Both cellmates looked up: a police officer, her expression wooden and her eyes hard and narrow, was standing at the door.

She gestured at Snake. "The Inspector wants to talk to you."

Snake grunted. Slowly he heaved himself to his feet, but didn't step forward. He looked at Kaito.

"You're thinking about it, aren't you, boy?" he said quietly. "How you're gonna kill me. Or…perhaps you haven't gotten that far yet. Perhaps you're still trying to figure out a way to blame me for her death. Trying to figure out a way that lets you tell yourself it wasn't your fault." Snake laughed. "Well if that's the case, you're going to be in here a long, long time."

Kaito lunged at him. The police officer cried out and tried to grab him, but Kaito had already slammed Snake into the wall, his fingers fast around his throat. Snake kicked him, but Kaito didn't let go—then he felt blows on his head and shoulders—hands seized his wrists, and then the next thing Kaito knew, he was on the ground, clutching his head, and the tiny cell was spinning around him.

Three more officers had arrived at the door, shouting to each other and at Kaito, but he couldn't understand their words. They handcuffed Snake and pulled him roughly out of the cell. Kaito heaved himself to his knees, and watched the first officer close the barred door again. She looked at Kaito, then looked away, locked the door, and left.

Kaito remained kneeling in the cell for a moment, feeling blood trickle from his nose and splatter onto the dry blood of another that already stained his shirt. Then, slowly, he keeled over and pressed his face into the cold cement floor, his fingers gripping his hair, his shoulders trembling.

"Oh…Aoko…"

…

…

…

_Oh man. I must be in an angsty mood. Actually, I'll just blame Shadowgin. Requesting Kaito and Snake in jail…what else could I do?_

_And did you NOTICE that Snake said 'who' when he should have said 'whom'? That's bona fide proof he's evil!_


	16. Ran and Kazuha in Jail

_**Finally—a fic just for the girls! To make up for victimizing Aoko and setting up a stereotypical gender scenario in the last fic, for this one let's see if Ran, Kazuha and I can pass the Bechdel test—they can't mention their flaky boyfriends or awkward relationships once for the whole story!**_

…

Mouri Ran and Toyama Kazuha in Jail

"Look, I'm gonna be late for my Aikido tournament if you don't let me go _right now—_We have a shot at the state championship this year! I could get first place! I'm that good! You've gotta let us go!"

"The Tokyo Department of Motor Vehicles doesn't have an exception for Aikido tournaments, miss."

Toyama Kazuha changed tack without missing a breath. "My dad's Chief Detective Toyama of the Osaka Police Department! And _her_ dad—" she jerked a thumb at the much quieter young woman behind her— "is _Sleepin' Kogoro!_"

The officer escorting them opened up a jail cell and gestured Kazuha inside.

She slammed her hand on the doorpost. "D'ya really wanna arrest Sleepin' Kogoro's daughter for somethin' as trivial as driving with an open alcohol container in the car? It wasn't even ours! It was Sleepin' Mouri Kogoro's! Surely you know what a heavy drinker that man is—"

"Miss," the officer said over her. "You're under arrest. What part of that don't you understand?"

"You just want to get me out of the tournament!"K azuha jabbed her finger at the officer. "You know Osaka's gonna win, and you wanna _cheat_ ta help Tokyo—"

"Thank you!" Ran interrupted. She seized Kazuha's shoulders and dragged her into the cell. "We'll just wait here while you telephone our dads, please."

"Play fair, officer!"

"Right," said the officer drily. He closed the cell door behind him.

Kazuha remained frozen at the cell door, her eyes wide and her mouth tight. She didn't move. Ran hovered nervously behind her.

"…Kazuha-chan?" Ran said finally.

Kazuha slammed her fist against the bars. "I can't _believe_ this!"

"I'm sorry," Ran said miserably. "I thought it'd be nice to take Dad's new car to your tournament…trust him to leave half-empty sake bottles everywhere—"

Kazuha interrupted her with a horrified gasp. "Oh, _no_!" She staggered back from the cell door, her face white, her fists raised.

"What!" Ran cried, horrified by Kazuha's ghastly expression. "Is it—" She seized Kazuha's arm and spun on the spot in the cell. "Is it a ghost?"

"…Eh?" Kazuha raised her eyebrows at Ran. "No!" she said. "Why wouldja think there's a ghost?"  
Ran released Kazuha's arm, her cheeks red. "With you, that's what it usually is," she mumbled.

"No," Kazuha said impatiently. "This building is a little too new to have ghosts already. Besides, it's a local police station, not a real prison, so I doubt too many terrible murderers or rapists have been in here, much less died. So don't worry!"

Ran frowned miserably. "O-okay…"

"Anyway," Kazuha continued, I was jus' thinkin' what my teammates are gonna do to me when they find out I've been arrested. Agh!" She ground her fists into her eyes. "This is a disaster."

"I'm sorry," Ran said again.

"Oh, don't, Ran-chan, it's not your fault." Kazuha gave an aggrieved sigh. "This just sucks in general."

"Oh." Ran crossed her arms with a frown, then forced a smile back onto her face. "Well, while we're here we can still make the best of it. Maybe we could play a game."

Kazuha pursed her lips. "What?"

"I don't know." Ran smiled cheerfully. "What do you want to do?"

"Um…" Kazuha flexed her arms and sighed. "I want to beat someone up."

…

Tokyo Police traffic officer Miyamoto Yumi was sitting at the front desk of the police station, her head in her hands. She sighed.

"Haaiya!"

Yumi looked up. After a moment, there was a thud, then a muffled grunt from one of the cells in the back of the police station.

"Ha—ha—hyaa!"

"Ah!" An even louder bang, and now she could hear pants and loud breathing. Yumi leapt up from the desk and ran down the hall to the holding cell.

"Oh no," she muttered. "I'm just covering for Miwako-chan—I don't know what to do—No fighting!" she cried. "No fighting between prisoners!"

Yumi skidded to a halt in front of the only occupied cell and stared.

Kazuha looked up. "What is it, officer?"

She was kneeling in the center of the cell, her arms around Ran's neck in a tight choke hold. Ran was slowly turning blue.

"Mouri Ran?" gasped Yumi. "Release her immediately! Release her!"

Kazuha dropped her arms with a surprised expression. Ran fell forward with a gasp and crawled to lean against the wall.

"Ran, why didn't ya tap out?" Kazuha said with a frown. "You're supposed to tap out if you can't break the hold."

"I've never done aikido before," Ran rasped, massaging her throat.

Yumi took a deep breath that sounded like a gasp. "Fighting is absolutely forbidden in the cells. Forbidden!" She glared at Kazuha. "This will be noted in your file. God, you gave me a scare! And I'm going to separate you two—"

"No!" Ran protested. "No—sorry, Officer Miyamoto—Kazuha-chan's a friend of mine—we were just practicing martial arts! I'm a black belt in karate and Kazuha-chan's a two-dan in aikido—"

"Yeah, and I'm missin' a tournament because of you people!"

Yumi stepped back from the cell door. "Tournament?"

"Yeah!" Kazuha jumped to her feet and stalked to the door, pointing an accusing finger through the bars. "I'm from Osaka, and I'm one o' the best in my division in the whole country. I'm in Tokyo today for a tournament, and you know Osaka's going to kick your butts, so you guys are trying to sabotage me!"

Yumi looked bewilderedly from Kazuha to Ran. Ran smiled weakly.

"Sorry, Officer Miyamoto…"

"Um…" Yumi took another step away from the cell. "I'm just going to go back to the front desk."

"Hey, I'm not done talking!"

"Thanks, Officer," Ran said. "If either of my parents call, could you let me know…?"

"S-sure, Ran-chan."

"Play fair, Tokyo!"

Yumi was already halfway back to her desk.

…

"Ow!"

"Sh!" Ran whispered. "Or Officer Miyamoto will come back."

"Sorry—that hurts!"

"That means you need it."

"Hmph." Kazuha was sitting with her knees drawn up on the floor of the cell. Ran sat behind her on the bench, massaging Kazuha's shoulders. "I'll say." She winced. "That really hurts!"

"Sorry," Ran said. "That means you're tight. The more a massage hurts, the more you need it."

Kazuha wrapped her arms around her knees and dropped her chin to her arms.

"Say, Ran-chan," she said presently, "do you hear something?"

"Hm?" Ran looked up. "No, I don't think so."

"It sounds like…" Kazuha narrowed her eyes, as Ran continued to rub her shoulders. "It sounds like a woman. Not a normal woman though." She turned around and looked at Ran. "You can't hear her?"

"Well, if you stop talking I'll be able to hear it."

"You don't think…" Kazuha got to her feet and peered through the barred door.

"What is it?" Ran asked, her voice shrill.

"You don't think it could be—"

"Be what?" Ran stood up too, and wrapped her arms around herself. "Is it a—"

"Ran-chan—"

"_What do you think it is?_"

"GIRLS!"

Ran screamed.

"Girls, I'm here!"

"Kisaki-san!" Kazuha cried happily, as Ran collapsed against the cell wall. "What are you doing here?"

"M-mom?" Ran stammered, still pressed against the wall.

"Yes, Ran." Kisaki Eri straightened her glasses and shot her daughter a puzzled look. "I rushed over as soon as I heard about the arrest. I assume this is my lout of a husband's fault, isn't it?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Kazuha agreed. "We were on our way to an aikido tournament—we didn't know Detective Mouri had left open alcohol containers in his car—"

"That idiot," Eri bit out. "Don't worry, girls—I've already paid your bail. And I'll be defending you in court so this won't go on your records." She gestured imperiously to Yumi, who had been cowering behind her and now jumped forward to unlock Ran and Kazuha's cell doors.

"Thank you, Kisaki-san!" Kazuha cried as she bounded out of the cell. Ran was still leaning against the wall, one hand pressed over her heart. "Do you think we can still make the tournament, too?"

"Let's see what we can do about that," Eri said. "I'll drive."

"Hooray! Come on, Ran-chan!"

Ran sighed as she followed Kazuha and her mother down the hall. "Now I need a massage," she mumbled.

Kazuha turned around and blinked at her. "Ran-chan? What are you stressed about?"

…

…

_A/N: Hmm…there are too many interruptions, I think. There wasn't really time for the girls to talk—but I was afraid that if I gave them too much time together they'd start talking about Shinichi and Heiji, and as I said I was trying to avoid that for the Bechdel Test. :) What did you think of this? Maybe I'll do a follow-up girls-only one, depending on y'all's comments._

_Also: Sorry for the long hiatus, guys! I've just finished my other big fanfiction project, "Kaito and Aoko's Story." Please consider checking it out if you have the time :)_


	17. Ai and Akako in Jail

_This one is for the lovely ChelseaJ500, who has been very patient and kind. I hope you like my portrayals of Akako and Ai!_

…

…

Haibara Ai and Koizumi Akako in Jail

The jail cell to which the officers escorted Haibarai Ai was already occupied. Ai, however, did not spare a glance for her cellmate. Without a backwards glance at her officers, Ai crossed the cell and perched herself primly on the far end of the bench.

She could feel the other girl's eyes on her, but Ai did not look over. Neither did the girl look away. Slowly, the girl's lips curve into a smirk.

"Well well," said Koizumi Akako. "I must say, it's been far more interesting since you got here."

Ai looked at her cellmate for the first time and arched a thin eyebrow. "I hadn't even spoken until now," she said coolly.

"Ahhhh," Akako planted her hands on the bench beside her and leaned in towards Ai. "You didn't have to. It's all there."

Ai arched her eyebrows and recoiled slightly. "Excuse me?"

Akako's lips split in a smile that bared her sharp white teeth. "You're hard to read, darling, but what I can see is fascinating."

Ai snorted. "I suppose you're a mind reader, then, are you?"

"A mind reader?" Akako repeated with a delighted laugh. She stretched out onto her stomach and peered up into Ai's averted face. "Not at all, darling. But I suppose you're on the right track. For mortals."

"Hm." Ai gave a stiff smirk and turned her gaze forward again.

Akako's smile widened. "You're a scientist. You don't believe in any god, in any magic, that you can't test for in a lab."

"I suppose you could tell that from the soft skin and strange burns on my hands, my pale complexion or my slightly hunched shoulders," said Ai dismissively. "And I'm sure there are other signs."

"Signs?" Akako shook her head so that her long black hair rippled over shoulders. "I already told you. It's all over your face."

"Oh yeah?" said Ai, a frown passing across her face for the first time. "Well then. What else is on my face?"

"Oh ho, let me tell you!" Akako planted her chin in her hands, her back arched and her eyes staring up into Ai's. For a moment she was silent, her eyes roving across Ai's face. She tapped her fingers, each with at least two rings on it, the nails painted black, against her jawbone and shook out her hair again.

"You've been in love," said Akako finally. "Or rather, you were in a relationship. Which we both know is not the same thing, I think. And now really are in love with someone else. But the first man is still a problem. Hm…second man's a bit of a problem, too, but not for the same reason. He likes another girl, I expect?"

Ai stiffened.

Akako looked unfazed. "Why not? You're pretty enough. Much prettier than the average girl."

"Hm." Ai closed her eyes. "Sometimes 'pretty' isn't enough."

Akako frowned. "Yes, I suppose you're right. In any case, the first man wants to kill you, doesn't he?"

"This sounds like a bad Korean drama," said Ai disdainfully.

"Yes, you're very afraid," Akako agreed.

This time, Ai couldn't hide her flinch.

"Oh ho…" Akako stretched closer to Ai and peered up at her face. "Goodness…how old are you, child?"

"I'm eight," said Ai glacially. "And you're a strange lady."

"You've looked death in the eyes," Akako continued. "But it still lurks about you—"

_"Stop it!" _

"Hm." Akako sat up straight and crossed her arms. "Really, you're not the only one here who's done naughty things, darling."

Ai's mouth was open, but for a moment no sound came out. Her face was deathly pale and her eyes seemed to be popping out of her head. Finally, in a hushed, trembling voice, she whispered, "How…how could you possibly know this?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"But how—" Ai stammered. "They'll kill you—they'll kill you—"

"Oh, really?" Akako giggled, a noise both girlish and threatening. "I'd love to see them try. Anyway, it's not like my methods leave evidence. Or, the sort of evidence a mortal would believe. Don't worry, darling, your secret's perfectly safe with me. Really." Her smile broadened at the stricken look on Ai's face. "Goodness, child, you act like I'm about to eat you."

"I'm beginning to consider that a statistically significant possibility," snapped Ai.

"Hm!" Akako tossed her hair and closed her eyes imperiously. "Well, for your information, little girl with old eyes, I only eat men. Adolescent and older. From the inside out."

Ai didn't respond. Akako opened one eye and saw the little girl staring at her with a dumbfounded expression.

Akako smiled. "I like you, darling."

Ai blinked.

"Let's be friends." Akako moved closer on the prison bench again. "We're kindred spirits, you and I. We have like souls. And don't tell me you don't believe in that sort of thing, because then I'll be very cross with you, and it's never pleasant when friends fight. Science doesn't preclude the existence of spirits and souls, you know."

"Nor magic, I suppose," Ai said dryly, her expression unreadable.

Akako smiled. "Exactly. See, you are warming to me, aren't you?"

A little tremble crossed Ai's curved lips. She shrugged. "Well, I just realized something. The only reason you'd be telling me all this is if you plan to kill me."

"Kill you?" Akako sat up, outraged. "Who said anything about that?"

"You didn't have to," said Ai. She was still pale, her eyes still popping out of her head, but there was a smirk on her face and a quiet desperation in the set of her face "It's all over your face—'darling.'"

Akako giggled. "Oh dear, no! No no no! Goodness, you're a difficult nut to crack, aren't you? But don't worry—I'm patient."

Ai goggled at her.

"Miss Koizumi?" interrupted a voice from outside the cell. Ai looked around—and jumped. The strangest, ugliest man she had ever seen was standing in the hallway on the other side of the bars. He was short, bald and hunchbacked, dressed in black, with a large stupid smile and crossed eyes. The man bowed, and said in a surprisingly unctuous voice, "I hope I am not too late, miss."

"Oh, not at all. In fact, I'd say you're a bit early. But never mind, it can't be helped."

Akako stood up and bent over to look at Ai, and suddenly her smile was far less girlish. "Listen, darling," she said. "I'm going to give you my address. And whenever you feel—like a secondary character in the story of your life—don't protest, I know you know exactly what I mean—well, then, you should chat me up."

Ai looked thoroughly confounded.

Something in Akako's smile softened. "I told you, darling," she said softly. "We're like souls, you and I. We should be friends."

Then, with a sweep of her lovely black hair, Akako stood up and glided out of the cell. Ai continued to stare after her long after she and the strange man had disappeared down the hallway. It was a few minutes later, then, that she finally noticed the slip of pink paper on the bench beside her, on which was written, in inky-black spidery handwriting, a name and a Tokyo address. Beneath this, Akako had written, "Well, really, why not? We're just as important as they are."

…

…

…

_A/N: Wow—long hiatus from Detective Conan! I spent the summer writing a Harry Potter fanfiction, and now I've finally finished this one for ChelseaJ500. Hope you're all doing well!_

_The bit about them having 'like souls' is supposed to be a little joke about how the two of them have the same voice actress in the anime. _


	18. Kazuha and Shinichi in Jail

_A/N: Hello again! This one was half-finished and some recent nice reviews prodded me into finishing it and posting it. Hope you like it! _

…

Kudou Shinichi and Toyama Kazuha in Jail

_1: Before the events of the manga:_

Toyama Kazuha gritted her teeth. "Ooh, Heiji better solve that stupid case quickly and come get me out of here!'

Sixteen-year-old Kudo Shinichi, who had been sitting deep in thought in the corner of the jail cell, suddenly perked up. "Did you say case?"

"Yeah," she grumbled. "My idiot friend Hattori Heiji."

"Hattori…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Kazuha interrupted dismissively, waving a hand. "He's a famous genius and a prodigy and the best detective in Japan and bla bla bla. Doesn't mean he's not an idiot."

"Excuse me," said Shinichi, straightening the lapels of his jacket. "I don't know this Hattori Heiji, but I do know that you are mistaken about one thing. He's not the best detective in Japan."

Kazuha looked directly at her cellmate for the first time. "Excuse yourself," she said, "and maybe he's just the best _high school_ detective in Japan, but we're graduating in another two years and then he'll be the best detective of all!"

Shinichi threw back his head and laughed.

Kazuha pursed her lips and scrutinized him. "Who are you?"  
"Kudou Shinichi." He sat a little straighter as he said it, and smirked. "I'm a famous high school detective as well."

"Hm." Kazuha crossed her arms and looked away. "Never heard of you."

Shinichi's jaw dropped. "You—you haven't?"

"Nope," Kazuha said boredly. "But I'm sure you're okay—Nowhere near as good as Hattori Heiji, of course, but you probably find your lost cats and missing wallets and everything."

Shinichi looked horrified. "I—I've worked with the Tokyo police force on dozens of cases!"

Kazuha rolled her eyes. "Big deal."

Shinichi took a deep breath through his nose, his smirking grin still affixed to his face. "Listen, little girl—" Kazuha made a noise like an angry cat but he cut her off— "When your little boyfriend gets here we'll have a showdown and I'll show you all who's the best high school detective!"

Kazuha had gotten to her feet, and there was a look on her face that somehow made her—thin and short as she was—far more frightening than she had any right to be. "Listen up, idiot," she breathed. "I am so _sick_ of arguing with you wannabe detectives. But you want a detective showdown? Just remember that you asked for it, you dummy. When Heiji gets here you'll see how lame you are. God!" she shrieked suddenly, kicking the bars of the cell, "This is so stupid!"

Shinichi flinched and backed away. "Good God, are you actually insane—?"

An older man's voice cut him off. "Kazuha?"

Kazuha looked around. "Daddy?"

On the other side of the cell bars stood a stern-looking man in a police uniform. "Kazuha, what are you doing here?"

"I was with Heiji downtown and we found a murder! Heiji ran off to chase a suspect and left me at the scene of the crime, so when the police showed up they detained me!" She put her hands on her hips and made an exasperated noise, as if being arrested was a bothersome but not altogether unusual occurrence.

The man sighed, and turned to the officer standing behind him. "Please release my daughter. I'm sure this will be straightened out as soon as Hattori-kun comes back. No, not you!" He held up a hand to prevent Shinichi following Kazuha out of the cell. "Who are you?"

"I'm Kudou Shinichi, famous high school detective!" Shinichi declared.

"Hm…" The man's expression suddenly took on a striking resemblance to his daughter's. "Never heard of you." He closed the cell door in Shinichi's face. Kazuha stuck her tongue out at him. "Guess you lucked out this time, wannabe! But next time, Heiji's gonna wipe the floor with you. Okay, okay, I'm coming, dad." And she ran out of sight before Shinichi could retort.

…

…

_2: During the events of the manga_

"Hey—Hey! Did you hear what I said? We're not suspects! We're innocent!"

"Miss," said a beleaguered-looking police officer as he escorted Kazuha into a cell, "If I had a yen for every time I heard that—"

"But—" Kazuha turned as the officer tried to prod her shoulder, so that he accidentally struck the child in Kazuha's arms instead. She took no notice. "But we're with Hattori Heiji! Detective of the West! C'mon—you know him! I'm his best friend—like his sister—and this little boy is his assistant!" She waved the disgruntled-looking child in her arms. "Call Heiji—he'll tell you!"

"Hattori Heiji is not a licensed member of the police force," the officer explained patiently. "Look, I'm sure this is a misunderstanding, okay, but for now you and the boy will have to wait in this cell."

"But—" Almost despite herself, Kazuha staggered backwards and the officer closed the cell door on her. "But we're not criminals!'

The officer only gave her a sympathetic nod and walked away.

For a moment Kazuha stood frozen in the center of the cell. In her arms, Conan shifted disconsolately and waved his askew limbs. "Kazuha-neechan…?"  
Suddenly she gasped and clutched the boy even tighter to her chest. "Oh no!"

"Gah…" Conan grunted. "…Breasts…"

She didn't hear him. "You poor boy—imagine arresting a seven year old! Not to mention me! 'Not a licensed member of the police force'—no, he only _is_ the police force! Good God! Of all the—"

"K-Kazuha-neechan…" Conan gasped. "Please put me down…"

"Oh!" Kazuha bent her knees and deposited Conan on the ground. He staggered away, his face red, his eyes narrowed at Kazuha's shirt area. "A lot smaller than Ran…and way less comfortable…"

"What did you say, Conan-kun?"

"N-nothing, Kazuha-neechan! It was just you were holding me too tight and it hurt."

"Oh…" Kazuha sat down on the floor of the cell. "I'm sorry, Conan-kun." She raised an eyebrow. "Conan-kun? Why are you so red?"

Conan made a choking noise. "Ah…It's hot in here."

"Really?" Kazuha rubbed her arms. "I'm kind of cold."

"Oh, yeah, I guess it is…" He saved his arms in an overly childish walk carefully calculated to take him as far away from her as possible.

Kazuha heaved a sigh that sounded something like a snarl. "I can't believe this…I'm gonna make Heiji pay for this when he gets us out…"

"Yeah…" Conan muttered. "Me too."

Kazuha chuckled softly. "You say the strangest things for a kid."

"Oh, s-sorry, Kazuha-neechan."

"It's okay. Kazuha dropped her chin to her knees. As usual, her anger had fled as quickly as it had come; she now looked merely tired, and a little bit sad.

"Well, if I have to be in jail again, I'm glad it's with a friend."

Conan looked at her. She smiled back at him. "Even if you really shouldn't be here, Conan. You're just a little kid. I mean good God!"

Conan raised his hands defensively, but Kazuha had already dropped her chin back to her knees. He swallowed.

"I'm glad I'm here with you too, Kazuha-neechan."

Kazuha's eyes welled up. "Aww, Conan-kun!" She spread her arms, and Conan, after a moment's hesitation, sat down next to her and let her put her arms around him. "You're such a sweetie!"

Conan's snarky eyeroll as she patted his head was somewhat underscored by his bright blush. But a small, affable smile crossed his face as he leaned his forehead against her shoulder. "So are you, Kazuha-kun. So are you."

…

…

_3: After the events of the manga_

The cell door had clanged shut behind them when at last Kazuha turned to face him. ANd as the key turned in the lock, Shinichi felt a thrill of terror run down his spine.

"So," said Kazuha.

Shinichi gulped. "The police have made a mistake, obviously. They'll let us out soon."

She continued to glare.

Shinichi scratched his nose. "…Hattori and Ran are probably on their way here right now, actually—"

"You jerk," Kazuha said. Her voice was low and even, so opposite to what he'd been expecting that Shinichi flinched in spite of himself. "You rotten, good-for-nothing, self-centered, idiotic detective-geek moron."

Shinichi raised his hands as if to defend himself. "Neechan, I—"

"Do you know?" she said, still in that terrifyingly level voice. "Do you know what you put Ran-chan through?"

Shinichi winced, but a faint defensiveness crossed his face. "Of course I do—I saw her every day. And I didn't have a choice—"

Kazuha threw up a hand to stop him. "You are an egomaniac, Kudou Shinichi. A slowly recovering egomaniac, who may one day be worthy of Ran-chan, but a self-obsessed egomaniac nonetheless." She cracked her knuckles. "It will take you a _lifetime_ to learn what you put that girl through. You know that, right?"

Shinichi backed up. "Neechan—Tooyama-chan—I do consider you a friend, you know."

"Oh yeah, we're totally friends, Kudou. In fact, I'm gonna do you a favor." She flexed her shoulders and balled her hands into fists. "Let me show you how much it sucks to wait for someone you love."

Shinichi's back hit the wall of the small cell. "Shit…"

"Oh, don't worry," said Kazuha, in a falsely sweet voice. "I won't hurt you. For Ran-chan's sake. Not much, anyway." She smacked her palm with her fist. "You'd better hope she comes for you faster than you came for her."

…

…

_Someone requested Kazuha and Shinichi, which is such a great idea because the limited interactions they have are nevertheless always hilarious (magician murder case and Magic File 4 come to mind!) But I couldn't decide when to place the arrest in the DC timeline. Should it be before Shinichi became Conan, while he is Conan, or afterwards? In the end, I couldn't make up my mind so I decided to do all three. You can pretend that Shinichi and Kazuha were arrested together three times, or take them as separate—either way I think it's pretty funny :)_


End file.
